Do Not Respond Defensively

Video Transcript

"The next thing I want to talk about is something that you actually don't want to do. And what you don't want to do is to respond defensively. What I'm talking about when I say respond defensively, I'm talking about, a person says to you, well I just wasn't convinced by your argument, and instead of saying, okay, why, well that's because you don't know anything about these arguments anyway, okay, okay. All right, that's responding defensively. That is going on the attack. That is making a response as if you personally was attacked, and you feel the need to defend everything you did as right. Again, what's happening here? You are defensive, therefore you cannot be an open listener, you cannot take in any new information, therefore you cannot improve. So it is--not that you can't have questions, not that you can't have concerns, but you should not respond defensively. A better response would be, well why do you feel that way? Why do you believe that my arguments were not strong? See, that way you can gain more information, where if you say, well, you don't know what you're talking about anyway, you have then just shut down, the conversation is over. The criticism is over, and it was not constructive that way."