Practical Weapons for Use in a Zombie Attack

Video Transcript

"Hi, my name is Bert Divitri, and I'm Andrew Marshall and we're here on behalf of Expert Village. We're going to teach you how to survive a zombie attack. We're straight out of the ZSA, and we know what's going on. In this segment, we're going to talk about some other weapons you might suggest to yourself. Like acid, WMD's, poison. These are all good ideas, but not really. You can't poison a zombie, they don't get poisoned. We've talked about it numerous times, their whole body is dead. The only thing that works is their brain. So unless you can stab an I.V. through their skull into their brain and disrupt it, it's not going to do anything. WMD's, I guess that would be a good idea if you wanted to wipe out entire population of people who might be trying to survive. Remember that one time? In Colgate Michigan? Covered up by the government? That city no longer exists; you can't find it on a map. Because zombies attacked it, and they blew it up. Very poor choice because I know a lot of people could have survived that. I think grenades are not the best possible choice as a weapon; they rarely will take a zombie's brain out. I think he's an idiot and he's wrong, because grenades can still blow things up. Like it could take off the leg of a zombie, and a zombie's screwed. It's just going to lay there, crawl towards you. Oh no, look out for a crawling zombie. Grenades are a great idea, good at crowd control. Ok, I stand corrected. Make me look like a jerk. Alright."