Learning Zombie Survival Skills

Series Summary

Intended humorously. Friends, neighbors, or strangers are NOT zombies:

Zombies have been a staple of American pulp-fiction since Romero and Russo’s popular Night of the Living Dead film was released in 1968. The word zombie comes from the predominantly Haitian religion Voodoo, often vilified in mainstream media and entertainment. The term can be traced back to a word for “god” in certain regions of Africa, but the connection is not clear. Traditional fiction imagines zombies as reanimated corpses, although today the idea of a zombie being the result of some quasi-supernatural disease or virus has been made popular by movies and video games. In the philosophy of mind zombies are often used as the subject of logical thought experiments about the nature of human consciousness.

In this free parody video series, “experts” Bert DiVietri and Andrew Marshall show you everything you need to survive a zombie attack resulting from an outbreak of the solanum virus. These videos will show you why weapons like pointed spades, hunting rifles, bows, and samurai swords are great defenses against zombies, while two-by-fours, sewing scissors, and plastic snow shovels are not. You will also learn what to do when on the run from zombies, how to hide, why public places should be avoided, and where to go in Lansing for free weapons during a zombie attack. Bert and Andrew also teach you about the “virus” that causes zombification and more.

Video Transcript

"Hi! My name is Bert and I'm Andrew and we're here on behalf of Expert Village. We're going to teach you how to survive a zombie attack. We're straight out of the ZSA and we know what's going on. In this segment, we're going to go over what we're going to be covering in the gigantic segment of clips. How to survive a zombie attack. We're going to go over weapons you need. We're going to go over vehicles you need. We're going to go over the proper places to hide. We're also going to go over and study of our enemy, which a zombie. What does it take to kill a zombie? What is a zombie? Well to define a zombie, it's obviously the living dead and they really like to bite people. The only thing a zombie wants to do is kill you and eat you. That's all they want. They can't understand you. They're dead. There's no reason to ever go up to a zombie and try and kill it. The main reason for this whole thing is to survive. "