The Self-Destructive Desire to Please

Video Transcript

"The next self-destructive behavior we want to take a look at, and I bet many of you can relate to this, especially you women out there; the desire to please. You say yes to everybody, you know, I want to be the carpool driver, I want to be the soccer mom, I want to be the little league coach, I want to have dinner on the table at 5 every day; on and on and on and on. And this is very similar to the desire to be perfect, but this falls more under more, "I want to make sure everybody is happy, and I can act the way everybody wants me to act". I want to please everyone. I want to please my boss, I want to please my children, my husband, my friends, my neighbors. I have bad news, you can not, and will not ever please everyone. Actually, there's not that many people you can probably ultimately please. If you try to please everyone, that's one thing, but when you try to please everyone and when you can't do it, because it will not happen, then you think you're a bad person or a failure, that's when it becomes a self destructive belief, and that's a bad thing. So, you have to be willing to let that go as well."