How to Connect in a Relationship

Connecting in a relationship can be accomplished in a number of different ways depending on the individuals involved. Connect in a relationship with help from a licensed marriage and family therapist in this free video clip.

Part of the Video Series: Relationship Advice

Video Transcript

Hi, I'm Dr. Roberta Marowitz, a Florida licensed marriage and family therapist and C.E.O. of "Sane Games," www.academicgamers.com, computer games with a mental health function for kids and their parents. Today I'm talking about how to connect in a relationship, something that I think we all know when it's working, and we don't know what to do when it's not. But we've all had the same experience, sometimes you meet someone and there is a click and you know it, and as soon as you meet them, what you say to yourself is "hmm, you know, there's a connection here." And I know it, it doesn't matter whether it's in the grocery store, or whether it's somewhere outside in the world, you just know it, and the question becomes if you don't click with someone, but you want to connect with them, how do you best do that? And what we do know is that there are some things that build relationship kinds of functionings and one of those, you're pretty familiar with, has to do with all of the non-verbals, it's the eye contact. It's a sometimes subtle touching, it is the listening to what someone has to say when they have to say it, and showing a genuine interest. Genuine, it's one of those things that sometimes you're good at and sometimes you're not very good at, but I encourage you to be good at. Be interested by being true to yourself so that what you are passing along is really the real you. People connect to a real person, but they don't really connect very well to a line, and so the warmth that you bring to any kind of connection is also going to be an enhancer. So you're building report by eye contact and by connecting with people, by being genuine and then you're bringing in warmth. So it is that occasion when perhaps you meet someone and you give them some kind of a compliment, and you say it in a very genuine way and it doesn't sound canned because it's not, it really is you actually interacting with them in a very true way. Those things help us connect with other people, try it. It works.

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