Comments on: How to Get the Men in Your Household to Put the Toilet Seat Down

on 11/22/2005 All men must be taught to sit down while peeing. Period. There's no physical reason why they can't. It's less of a mess caused by their aiming and gives them a little extra time to feel less stressed.

on 11/22/2005 If the toilet seat is the only thing you have to fight about, count your lucky stars and be thankful that you don't have to fight over more important things like who will pay the child support.

on 11/22/2005 Just have everyone sit down when they use the restroom. This has the dual effect of keeping the seat in the proper position and reducing the chance of unsightly messes.

on 11/22/2005 When I first married my husband this was the only problem I had with him. So after repeated pleas to him to put the lid down...I asked him how he would feel if I were the one who peed all over the toilet seat and he was forced to sit in it or clean it up? Nine years later I have never had to remind him again. He even volunteered to be the "toilet cleaner" because he is the one who makes such a mess! :-)

on 11/22/2005 I am very equality-minded and I don't understand, therefore, why men are the "perpetrators" in this "crime." The simple, fair, equal rule should be that both men and women put the toilet seat AND the lid down. I truly do not understand why women complain about and are surprised by having the toilet seat down and getting a wet bottom because they don't look to see that the seat is up. Would it be preferable for men to be surprised that the seat is down and give women a wet bottom by leaving the seat in the cherished-by-women DOWN position when they use the toilet? No, of course not, but women insist that it is the man's "duty" to adjust the position of the seat each time, whereas women have the supposed "right" to merely sit down each time. Why should men have to move the toilet seat in order to go to the bathroom and women supposedly do not? If men and women both leave the seat AND lid down, both sexes must move it in order to use the toilet. This also prevents pets drinking from or things falling into the toilet. [And an aside to the women who bought a stuffed toilet seat so that the man has to hold it up while peeing: holding the seat up and using the toilet is difficult to do and may result in splatter. Is having a messy toilet area preferable to the woman taking the extra 2 seconds to lift the lid that many women force upon the man?]

I would also like to know where the counter-argument to my proposition (joined with many men) that both women and men put the seat AND lid down. Is there any argument that women can make to the effect that women should not take an equal part in maintaining the bathroom for the use of both sexes?

This may seem like a pointless argument that simply wastes time, but I think there's an important social lesson to be learned. This downright anger that women spout about the toilet seat position comes, I believe, from a sense of entitlement that many women learn growing up. This sort of thinking does not engender equality between the sexes. Men resent the seemingly irrational demands that women make of them and in turn learn their own irrational sense of entitlement (to such things as sex). Although it may seem I'm exaggerating, I think this is a very important issue. For mothers who are truly concerned about their daughters' emotional well-being and safety in the future, teach young girls that EACH sex must treat the other equally.

on 11/22/2005 I agree with Jared here. Don't get all emotional over something as menial as a toilet seat. You give your husbands enough problems as it is; at least give them a break on this one.

on 11/22/2005 When my husband and I were newly married, we compromised. If he would lift the seat to do his thing, I would lower it to do mine. It's one less thing to fight about.

on 11/22/2005 I like the idea of removing the seat completely so that the man can see how it feels to sit on cold, wet porcelain! I have a son and when it's time to toilet train him, he will be taught to put the seat back down after he goes, every single time. Moms, make sure you teach your sons proper bathroom manners! Teach your sons to have good bathroom hygiene and manners not just in your house, but when they are in other people's homes, too. It will stay with them as they grow up. I can't tell you how many times friends or male relatives of my husband come over, urinate all over our toilet and floor, and then leave the seat up. It's truly disgusting. If more Moms taught their sons properly and were consistent, maybe so many wives wouldn't be complaining about their husbands' disgusting bathroom habits! If it isn't allowed when he is growing up, he will put the seat down out of habit when he is an adult. Incidentally, now when a man comes into our house and makes a mess in our bathroom, I hand him cleaner and a paper towel, in front of everyone, and ask him to please clean up his mess in the bathroom, as I am not his maid. I also tell him to put the seat down, because that is how he found it. After being put on the spot, and seeing how I won't tolerate bad manners in my house, most of the men don't make this disgusting mistake under my roof twice.

on 11/22/2005 Any woman dumb enough to simply assume that the seat is down deserves what she gets. Besides, why shouldn't they leave it up so that we don't have to lift it every time?

on 11/22/2005 Hey what's this with only men and toilet seats? Why don't we just all agree to close the lid completely after we're done? Actually, I liked the earlier observation that men don't forget to lift the lid to go, why can't women remember to put it down?

on 11/22/2005 I'm fortunate enough to live in a rural neighborhood, so I often go in the yard. It saves water and I avoid missing or fooling with the lid. She gets upset because she says "the yard smells like a homeless shelter," but you can't have everything.

on 11/22/2005 Put the seat where you want it when you see it. Then, thank God (or whoever is appropriate) that he didn't leave you for following the other tips.

on 11/22/2005 Absurd that a man must remember to lift the seat before he "goes" and put it down afterward, but a woman is allegedly stupid enough to fall in without checking it. There IS one good reason to do it, though, guys: It's no big deal and it makes her happy.

on 11/22/2005 I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I sat down and got a wet bottom. I promptly got up, walked into the bedroom and sat my wet bottom on my husband. I said, "I just thought I would share this with you." He hasn't left the seat up since.

on 11/22/2005 Make them realize it can be dangerous. I fell in when I was very pregnant (those middle-of-the-night trips during pregnancy) and he's never left it up since.