Return to article: How to Be Superstitious
on 11/23/2006 Always refuse to try on your friends' new engagement rings, as you will die an old maid if you do, whether or not you are already married.
on 7/2/2006 If you pretend to be superstitious, you will be cursed with bad luck, so believe or don't.
on 11/22/2005 Recoil in horror if someone opens an umbrella in the house. Obtain a clove of garlic and rub it immediately on the offender's forehead. If he or she doesn't flatten you, the curse will be amazingly avoided. Vociferously insist on tossing a pinch of any spilled salt over your left shoulder. Loudly and embarrassingly admonish anyone who rocks an empty rocking chair. Regale the offender with horrific tales of death, a death that will be his or her direct responsibility as a result of his or her actions. Stories of puppies and parents' deaths are the most effective.
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