Return to article: How to Support Someone Who Has Had a Miscarriage or Stillbirth
on 4/4/2008 Pregnancy losses are so difficult because those supporting bereaved parents never really know what to say for fear of the tears. Crying is a good tension releaser.Just be there and let your friend tell the story of her sweet angel baby over and over again. These moments will be remembered for quite some time. Pregnancy losses are sweet children just a cloud away. Peace Love and Hugs from Above Diana Gardner-Williams
on 4/4/2008 Many people ignore pregnancy losses because they are not sure how to handle the baby's death for fear of the tears. Crying is not all bad and actually releases tension. Just be there to hear how much that sweet baby meant to them. These little angels are just a cloud away. Peace Love and Hugs from Above Diana Gardner-Williams
on 6/30/2006 Acknowledge that your happy news may be very painful for the grieving parents. Don't be angry with them if they decide that they cannot attend your baby shower, baptism, or other ceremony. They probably feel guilty and isolated enough already.
on 2/14/2006 Often when a relative or friend dies, the bereaved will receive a card or flowers, even if they don't receive a phone call or visit from someone. In a miscarriage this is very helpful to show that the baby may not have been born yet, but was still very real to the mother and father and the pain is just as hard. A sympathy card also helps when the parents want to save mementos of their pregnancy. It is also really helpful for the sender, especially if they are at a loss for words and don't know what to say to the mourners.
on 11/22/2005 Death makes us all uncomfortable, especially untimely deaths. If you don't know what to say, don't avoid them. Greet them warmly, ask them how they are doing. Inquire about other aspects of their lives, since life does go on. Send them a nice sympathy card. My mother-in-law does this on the anniversary of our stillborn son's delivery. It reminds me that I am not alone in my grief. My family and friends grieve for me, too.
on 11/22/2005 Make sure your friend knows that there are excellent books available that address miscarriage and stillbirth. These books can provide support to your friend during this difficult time in her life.
on 11/22/2005 Let the parents talk about the miscarriage. People think that a miscarriage happens one day, and then it's over. Many miscarriages take weeks to be completed. Don't expect the parents to get over it in a few days. Let them talk about the process, even if it is difficult to hear. It was difficult for them to go through it.
on 11/22/2005 Tell them about your loss. When we miscarried our first child. I thought this didn't happen to others. I own knew 2 or 3 people. After we told people about our loss many shared their losses with us. I did not feel so alone after that.
on 11/22/2005 What has helped me after losing my daughter was to talk to her about the fact that people will acknowledge her as a existed as person in this world.
on 11/22/2005 Avoid telling them about other people's tragic losses during this time, or making comparisons to other people who have also lost pregnancies. They have enough of their own feelings to deal with.
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