Comments on: How to Handle a Breakup

on 11/22/2005 There is some great advice out there for people going through a breakup. The best site I have found so far is: www.breakupsurvivor.com
I love going there. It makes me feel better ever time.

on 11/22/2005 I just broke up with my first boyfriend. It was hard to do for so many reasons. The only thing that is getting me through this is my close family and friends. My family lets me cry and talk about the breakup. My friends can't wait until they are in the area and we can go out and forget everything. What helps the most is talking to those who have already dealt with breaking up. Hearing what they went through is therapy in itself.

on 11/22/2005 If you're the dumpee, do not chase your dumper! They will only run and avoid you. Although it is very difficult, you must learn to let go. Sooner or later your ex will become curious as to why you're not chasing and may come around. It does work.

on 11/22/2005 Do anything that makes you feel good about yourself. I have found that the gym has a wonderful effect on me. Try buying new clothes, and take very good care of yourself. When you date another girl or boy, try going to the same place you used to go with your ex. I know it's hard initially, but I think it will help to reassociate that environment with fresh fulfilling feelings.

on 11/22/2005 Remove all traces of him from your life. Keep them somewhere, but don't look at them right now. This includes e-mails, cards, pictures, and gifts. When you are finally over him, you can look at these things, but they will do you no good right now.

Write down all the reasons why you ended the relationship. When you feel the urge to go back to him, read the list.

Write down how he made you feel.

Remove him from your auto-dialer, your phone book, and your e-mail address book. Don't make it easy to get in touch with him.

on 11/22/2005 How do you let go of something you truly love? You can't, for the time being. If she doesn't love you any more or if she has a change of heart, there's really nothing you can say or do. Accept it and move on somehow. They say that love takes time to heal, and it's true. As time goes by, the love you once had for that person will fade and eventually they will become a memory.

on 11/22/2005 Do not do something you will regret. For example, drugs, alcohol, etc. Take some time to realize things and forget things. Go out, have fun, and try to get over it.

on 11/22/2005 Continue to talk to your ex if you intend to be friends, but don't overdo it or stalk. This will prevent things from getting awkward later on.

on 11/22/2005 Never dump someone when you're going though a stressful period (for example, exam time). It will affect your performance. Even if you can't wait to move on, at least wait until you have no worries. This way, you can easily deal with your breakup and not be thinking a lot. I had a breakup during a stressful period, and it was a huge mistake. I lost my focus and ended up being in misery, simply because I was dealing with two losses in the end. One was failing my exams, and the second was letting go of the love of my life.

on 11/22/2005 If you are confused or lost, try talking to a close friend who happens to be of the opposite sex. Generally, they will have a better understanding of why the dumper did what they did.

on 11/22/2005 There's always a new day coming. You'll cry until you think your interior will explode from the pain, but the next morning, you are going to go to work, see people, get a phone call, and get invited to a party. Go home and get pretty. Even if your mood is terrible, you'll find your interests among other people.

on 11/22/2005 The idea of, "we can still be friends," sounds nice for some breakups, but it's almost always a bad idea in practice. Even when the breakup is as smooth as possible, having a history together makes friendship really hard to take. Even if you were friends before the romance, things won't go back to the way they were. Try to be careful about believing that you are the exception to the rule. It's easy to be manipulated from that position.

on 11/22/2005 I am going through a breakup and dealing with it is kind of hard. The best way is to talk about it a lot and cry a lot. I think that making peace with your ex and then letting him or her go is probably best. If you do it peacefully, you will probably accept the facts more easily. Afterwards, go out and have fun. Flirt like crazy, and find things to do for yourself (for example, go to they gym). Time is the only thing that works, and how much time will be needed is up to you! In my experience, if you get dumped and you move on, the person who dumped you is usually sorry (if you were good to them, that is).

on 11/22/2005 don't avoid dealing with the relationship for two months like i did. I busied myself with school and work and then when i came home for winter break i had all this spare time to think and contacted my ex again which was a big mistake. it ends up he wanted to play games with me because i left him and hurt him so much and now i'm the one whose hurt!

on 11/22/2005 In my case, she wanted to call me back because I had questions, but that only made it worse. It was bad wondering who she was with or what she was doing, but after I found out, I felt even worse. She just broke up with me yesterday. You will start seeing signs, like I did when I couldn't get a hold of her for a week. Break up with her when you see these signs, but make sure you're right.