Comments on: How to Handle a Breakup

on 6/30/2006 A lot of these tips are really helpful, I recommend you read them. I am getting over a breakup that happened just 2 days ago. I felt a lot better after going on a long drive, singing to music, then boxing away all the things that reminded me of her (and throwing it around for an hour or so). I hung out with friends, it felt good. Don't worry, no matter how bad you feel (and it can suck), you shouldn't stay sad for long. You gotta sleep, eat, and smile. Do some jogging as well. It is possible to get over it quickly, remember someone else has it worse. Talk to loved ones and be kind to strangers. If you have to see the ex because of school or work, do not look at them and don't call them! It's over. Write down all the things that bugged you about the relationship and look at it every time you're tempted to call them. Remember those times you were so angry at your ex, and those things about them that annoyed you.

You will meet other people. It's not worth wasting any more time with that person. You cant spend one more moment of your life on it, you're lucky you got out before more time was wasted! Stay confident and cool, and don't dwell on things. Pick up a new interest, and accomplish something great. ;-)

on 6/30/2006 My boyfriend and I broke up and it took me about six months to get over it. We were together for about a year. Our breakup was not very amicable, since I discovered that he was going out with other girls while we were together. I cried every day for months, I got so sick and I grieved for him because I loved him so much. Two weeks after we broke up, I called him and said that I wanted to work things out. He said that I should forget him and that he did not love me. I was mortified. I wondered what I did wrong. The answer was; nothing. The truth is, that if he really wanted things to work out he would have said yes. Bottom line is; take as long as you need to grieve, since a broken heart takes long to heal. Do not be alone, go out because you would only feel worse. Lastly, talk about your pain as much as you want to. It helps. Soon you will wake up one morning and realize that you do not think about him anymore.

on 6/30/2006 If you have gone through a breakup and can't stop crying, locking yourself up in your room, and just feeling bad all around - this is what you need to do: Compare the pain of that breakup to another pain you have experienced, but make sure it's something that hurt more, like a deceased pet or family member. You made it through that, and nothing will ever hurt that much again, not even a break up. Soon you will find, it was much easier to get over than you thought, and you can be happy! It is possible!

on 3/27/2006 If you were dumped for no good reason, the dumper will most likely realize their mistake in time. First, cry your eyes out, but then yell yourself that they will regret it. At the same time concentrate on keeping busy with friends, families and classes. Telling yourself they will regret it will build your confidence rather then self pity, and the worst that can happen is they wont regret it, but by then you'll be over it!

on 3/20/2006 The first thing that most people do is run out buy a book or two about relationships. Believe me, a book is not always the answer because the so called 'Professional' that wrote it does not know you or your heart. Nor do they know the heart of the person that has left you heartbroken. The best advice will most likely come from one person...and that person is you.

on 3/13/2006 Once you have been dumped, remember that at the start of the relationship you were loved. Relax, take a deep breath and start a new relationship once you are ready to carry on.

on 3/10/2006 I was dumped by my girlfriend after I caught her cheating. She didn't seem like someone who would do such a thing. We had discussed that if either one of us should meet someone we were attracted to, we would talk about it and part our ways. Yes, this hurt. More than the motorcycle accident I had, much more than the wisdom tooth I had removed.

I have a remedy: Never fall in love again! Have flings, have fun, then move on to someone else.
It's logical. If something is going to hurt this much, then don't do it. I gave my heart and honesty to this relationship, I didn't deserve to be treated this way. I'll never give the chance to anyone to do it to me again.

on 3/28/2006 I'm in week 9 of dealing with a breakup. We were only together a year, but he moved in, met my family, we got a dog, we looked at wedding rings and venues, and he asked my dad for my hand in marriage - the next week he cheated on me.
I was just gutted and kept thinking I had done something wrong to make him go with someone else. I now realize I did nothing wrong and it was him who did wrong.
I bought the book "It's called a Break up because it's Broken" and got myself a 'Break up Buddy' who listened for hours to me crying.
I cried lots. I listened to music that we liked; I went on walks in the same places we liked to go. I read books we had read together and I cried some more and then one day I looked in the mirror and hated what was there. I hadn't washed for days and I was a mess. In that instant I realized I didn't want to be the person in the mirror. I took a deep breath and vowed to move on with life. I refused to see my ex, didn't answer the phone and never replied to pleading e-mails. Instead, I sought solace with the people who did genuinely love me and who had my best interests at heart.
Every morning I walk down my path and say "confidence, confidence, confidence".
In those early days I now realize I was grieving for my lost relationship and that process has helped me be strong. I am in a place where I can look at my ex and actually feel sorry for him.
So grieve. Cry lots. Take as long as you need but then pick yourself back up. Walk away with dignity and your head held high.
Someone will catch sight of that.

on 3/23/2006 You need to get out there more. Just be more active. Throw away all the memories in the memory lane and walk away confident. I know being in love has taken you away from something in life or basically distracted you. Just stay focused on life. Being hurt will inspire you to accomplish more things in life. If you reach your goals, that'll help you a lot, and you know it feels good as well.
If all that didn't work. You can always turn to God. God is the best thing in life, so you always turn to Him. Keep on praying and you'll see. He'll have the answer for you. God doesn't want us hurt. No, He wants to see us happy and if we seek Him, you'll see you'll be rewarded with better things in life and a brand new partner might be one of them too.

on 2/25/2006 The first few days are gut-wrenching. I couldn't eat or sleep for 4 days. I was a walking nightmare. I didn't realize it was OK to call in sick to work (I made it half-days for 2 days). Accept that other people care about your feelings and will encourage you to take time to grieve. I didn't understand the importance of grieving at first. Cry when you need to, and find a good friend to talk to. A good friend that knew the other person, and can give you an objective, supportive perspective but also remind you of the not-so-perfect moments.

I bookmarked this eHow website page and read it every day for the first few days. Also read "It's Called a Break-Up because it's Broken" by Greg Berendht. Stay as busy as you can, but be careful when driving. It's easy to get distracted in your thoughts. I did $1500 worth of damage just trying to park while completely numb. Double ouch in addition to the heartache.

Also cathartic; write a list of highlights and lowlights of your relationship. Don't just include the facts. Include the feelings. How did that highlight make you feel, that first time "x" happened or how did it make you feel that time when he/she made you mad, or first hurt your feelings. Do not send it. Just keep it for yourself. Read it every day until you don't need to anymore. Warning - it will make you cry - especially the wonderful highlights. But, then the more lowlights you remember and write down, it will become angering. Once you pass through the anger phase, it's easier to see the light.

I'm 2 weeks into my heartbreak and each day is easier. I have not contacted my ex. Yes, it's been hard, but honestly, what could I say? There's nothing I can say to change his feelings. I am meeting his roommate next week to give back the stuff of his that I had. There will be no bitterness or sadness displayed to the roommate, as I have thrown myself into working out more, working toward a new goal for myself, and joining a civic organization to get involved with my community. I want to shine and work hard to moving on. If the ex wants to be a part of my life (as he claimed through tears the night of the breakup) then he knows how to contact me.

Remind yourself that you are wonderful. Sometimes people's feelings change or just never develop. It does feel bad to hear that, but remember you have a lot to offer someone. I know it's hard to meet good people, and it took me 4 years to meet someone wonderful, but I can only have hope that it can happen again. For me, and for you!

on 2/23/2006 The best way to get over a breakup is to be around friends and do things that you wanted to but, couldn't before. Enjoy your freedom, and don't jump into another relationship without fully being over the ex. If you still seem to be in love with the ex, just give it some time; if it's meant to be, it will all turn out fair. But in the mean time, in between time, enjoy yourself.

on 2/15/2006 Just remember, when you have a breakup, don't worry about the things you did wrong in the beginning! Just tell yourself that if he/she doesn't want to go out with you anymore, it's their fault!!

And to people breaking up with the other one: the same tip applies, if it didn't work out, it isn't your fault! And if you start regretting your decision, then try to talk to that person, maybe you can begin your friendship again.

on 2/6/2006 I found it helpful to make a list of the qualities that make me a great catch. Oh, and don't try to be friends; that never works. The new love in your life will be the only one to suffer.

on 2/2/2006 If your breakup happens, and other people are involved, try to make it so they don't get in the middle of arguing. Also, if there's someone that likes you, go and hang out with them. They'll help you get over it.

on 2/1/2006 If you're going to see them around a lot, try to stay friends with them so it wont be awkward. Avoiding them is the worst thing you can do.