Comments on: How to Handle a Breakup

on 1/26/2007 the best advice i can give is to get used to the idea that his gone don't fool yourself and pretend he'll come back because most likely he won't, grieve, cry its all acceptable but don't make the mistake to call him and make a fool out of yourself you'll only look desperate, he'll lose respect for you and after you come back to your senses pass the madness and temporary insanity you'll have one less thing to regret.

on 1/23/2007 Do not call him - ever, at all. Keep your head up, let go, move forward. Take care of yourself. Even it takes a minute at a time to get through the day, do not call him. If he wanted to talk to you, he would have called you. You would only feel worse for calling, remember. Stay healthy and think of yourself and keep your self-respect.

on 1/23/2007 Absolutely do not call him or contact him, especially if you are the dumpee. He made his choice and you will only humiliate yourself and end up feeling worse about yourself. If you already called - stop, and do not do it again. Do not beat yourself up, just stop. Keep your head up and take each minute at a time. Let go, keep busy, get healthy and stay focused on yourself and maintain your self respect by not calling him.

on 10/25/2006 BLOG IT!!!!- If you have a MySpace or MSN Space or something that your previously significant other might be aware of, use that as a means to vent your feelings. In a sadistic way, they will often have a curiosity to see if you've added new friends or if you've changed your status to "single, etc... It is pretty clear that contacting, callilng and begging never has the intended outcome. However, if it's on a blog, THEY have to be the one to take the initiative to read it and it is not you reaching out to them!!! it's perfect. You get the therapeutic benefit of putting your feelings into writing and if they do care about you or are interested in checking on how you are doing they will get what you want to say without you being the freak. Maybe your deepseated feelings and interpretations of what went on will be communicated in a way that makes them think twice also. If it truly was meant to be they'll come to their senses.

In addition, if you have the ability to make it so only she/he can read, it might save you the ribbing from your other readers.

on 8/30/2006 When I was trying to forget my fiancée, I searched for as many friend as I could either online or offline. I always felt sad in the morning, but after having conversation with friends who was available, I felt better and energized to continue my day with too much grieving.

So for me talking was a good medicine as it could distract my mind from "why" and "if."

on 8/8/2006 I wasted 8 years trying to make a relationship work that I knew deep inside was doomed to fail. Looking back now, I realize that I passed up a lot of good ones because I had the door closed, so to speak, for so long. If your relationship didn't work out, let yourself be sad and angry, and for goodness sakes, cry you eyes out! It feels good, too. When time does it's thing, and you start to feel better (you will, I promise) look forward to the fact that at least the door is now open for the right one to come in. Take the lessons you learned from the failed relationship with you, but don't carry around the anger and emotional baggage. Open the door and clean the house for Mr. or Ms. Right to walk right on in.

I never thought I'd see the day that I would be able to say all that I just did (above). But I got here. So will you.

on 8/8/2006 Many books, people, online advice columns, etc. say not to call. For me that did not work. I had not really been given a reason about why the relationship was ending. After the breakup, he called and said, "I love you and I miss you" and then didn't call for a week. I needed closure. Not having that closure was basically leaving me in torture. The thing that worked for me was to actually call - to hear him basically say he did not want to take time to talk to me was the closure I needed. I felt like I could then move on. I think this should be advice taken by those who are strong enough to know that they would not be begging and pleading to get back together. I wasn't going to do that. I just needed to know that he had decided for sure to end the relationship.

on 8/8/2006 I dated someone for several years. She never met me half-way in the relationship. I did all the work. I don't know why I put up with it, but I fell for her first and hard. I always was a little starstruck, even after a lot of time had passed. I ignored so many warning signs. But I loved her so, and put her first because of my love for her.

Well, she cheated on me and then left me to be with some other guy. And when I look back across all the warning signs I ignored, I realized that she was really nothing more than a player. She was just in it for what she could get and she had never loved me - not ever - and we were together for a long time. She is an unbelievable actress. She played her part so convincingly. All that time I kept on trying to find out what made her tick. When I saw it, I would discount it. What a hollow soul she must have. It is pretty disturbing to have your whole relationship with a person recast as a pack of lies.

But in spite of the betrayal, I learned about myself that I really know how to treat a woman right. I may not be suave with the ladies, and I have a hard time hooking up, I'll admit, but I know what I have to offer and feel good about what I learned along the way. Also, by virtue of the fact that she contributed so little, I have to realize that it was me that was making me happy the whole time I was with her. So even though she's gone and my life seems emptier, she really had nothing tangible to offer, and the energy I devoted to her, I am free to use to benefit other more deserving people. Plus, I got a thorough life lesson in how to spot a player. Never again will I permit myself to be used. I sure feel sorry for the other guy. I guess I feel sorry for her too, because I don't think she will ever really get beyond that whole high school mindset and be able to form a healthy relationship.

on 8/8/2006 Remember, you can't change the past, you can only hope that the future is better. Don't beat yourself up over what has happened, there is probably nothing you could've done if this is what the person wanted. Just realize that whether you believe in faith or not, you are in charge of your destiny and you have the power to change it. Go out and find that man/woman of your dreams and have fun doing it because you're single!

on 8/8/2006 Whenever you feel like insulting or begging the dumper to take you back, write it down in a diary instead. Remember that you are above this, even if the dumper was mean to you. Also, you don't want the dumper to think of you as The Crazy Ex, you want the dumper to think of all the good times you had. Begging or insulting can result in the dumper being disgusted by you. If you want the dumper to come crawling back, don't be The Crazy Ex, go on with your life and prove to everyone that you don't need him.

on 8/8/2006 I just got dumped by my girl, after I caught her cheating. She didn't seem like someone who would do such a thing. We even discussed once that if either one of us should meet someone, then we would talk about it and part our ways.
Yes this hurt, boy did it hurt, much more than the motorcycle accident I had, much more than the wisdom tooth.
Never fall in love again! Have flings, have fun, then move on to someone else.
It's logical, if someone is going to hurt' then don't do it.

I never had a motorcycle accident once I stopped riding. I gave my heart and honesty to this relationship, I didn't deserve to be treated this way. I'll never give a chance to anyone to do it again.

on 8/8/2006 After a break-up,some think they will find the remedy right away in having sex with someone else. This will only make you feel more drab and empty inside, and you will return home alone to an empty bed and know that the sex had no meaning at all because you did it out of rebound.

on 8/8/2006 Take their picture, speak your feelings
to it (you can cry too) and then burn the picture.

on 8/8/2006 Whatever you do, do not chase after the person that dumped you. Do your best to not call or write them any e-mails. I know it's easier said than done, because I've been there, but making them feel guilty is not going to help you win them back. After all, I've never seen guilt win back love and attraction....have you?

on 8/8/2006 When the sadness begins to fade, it's time to remember the crap that you endured and let outrage take it's place. I went through misery wondering how I'd ever be able to let go and cut communication until I remembered the lies, (he claimed to be single but was actually living with someone) the disappointments, the many times I couldn't get hold of him. Then I remembered that I had been honest with him; never cheated; was available to talk at any hour of the day or night and was a great friend when he sorely needed one. That's when I was able to switch off my phone and say, "I'm moving on, I owe him nothing."