Comments on: How to Comfort a Friend After a Breakup

on 11/22/2005 One of the best things my friend did for me after I broke up with a guy was to make sure I was constantly distracted. She would keep me up all night going to dinners and movies. By the time I got home, I would go right to sleep and not think about him. She also made sure to constantly call to see if I was okay, and invited me to come along with her to run errands, just so I wouldn't be alone.

on 11/22/2005 My friends did an amazing thing for me. They all came over to my home with wine, magazines, comfort food, and funny, stupid, light movie DVDs. We did the sleepover thing (although you could just do this at a party, too). The best part of it was that they all wrote words of support and encouragement in lipstick and lip liner on my bathroom mirror. Things like - "Never forget that we love you," and "Remember that God gave you resiliency. Now bounce!" I haven't washed that mirror in months! Sometimes I even walk in there just to see their writings of support and I feel strengthened. If you don't have friends to do this, and are heartbroken - try it yourself. Write uplifting messages on your own mirror! It is amazing what such joyous affirmations can do if seen regularly.

on 11/22/2005 Listen to songs without relationship things. It can be hard to find one but "Back When" by Tim McGraw is great!

If you have been through a break up like theirs tell them how you got over it and how great you feel without them now and all you can do now that you and the ex aren't together.

on 11/22/2005 Do something that shows that you love them. After breakups, they think they can't be loved. Send them balloons or something. That's what I did for a friend. It was a big bunch with "I love you sugar" written on one. It makes them feel special again.

on 11/22/2005 Let your friend know that it's OK to cry and be miserable for a while and that it will eventually pass. It will only help her find herself and become a stronger person.

on 11/22/2005 If they're angry, it's best to let them be. "Let sleeping dogs lie," someone once said.

on 11/22/2005 If your friend is of the opposite sex, do not be too comforting, or say things like "You'll find someone else, you're a great person" unless you're SURE that they won't think you're hitting on them. Even if they normally would not think of dating you, they could be on rebound, and it could get awkward.

on 11/22/2005 Don't call your friend's ex names, or tell him/her what a louse the ex is, or express incredulity that her/she still has feelings for the ex. Don't try to get your friend to see it your way; it's your friend's experience, not yours.

on 11/22/2005 They probably came to you because they wanted to talk. So let 'em talk! Don't dish out advice. If they want your opinion, they'll ask for it. After they shut up, give 'em a hug. Hugs let 'em know you care, and after a breakup, that's what they need most.

on 11/22/2005 Don't bring it up too much. He/she could get mad at you. If he/she does, at the first sight of madness back off.