Comments on: How to Comfort a Friend After a Breakup

on 7/6/2008 My close friend was recently dumped by her boyfriend of 2.5 years. He said he needed to sleep with other people and that they had to be apart. So for the next two weeks he slept with a woman he'd met earlier, while my friend was left heartbroken and miserable.
Now that the other woman he'd met is no longer in the picture, the exboyfriend has apologized, professed his love for her, and they are back together.
I am disappointed in these circumstances, but there is nothing I can do for their relationship. It's not my place because it's not my relationship.
However, the exboyfriend has been trying to communicate with me i a casual manner, acting like nothing ever happened. I don't want to be friends with him. HE makes me sick to my stomach. What should I do?

on 6/19/2007 My ex and I just broke up a little over a week ago, and I'm already feeling better about the situation. What helped me most was what my friends have done for me, and here's what they have done:
-They plan trips that involve me. Trips to the beach, get togethers for movies and dinner, and trips to different states. It's nice to feel that my company is wanted by these wonderful people.
-They've treated me like they always have. They haven't treated me like something fragile. They made me remember who I was before the relationship. They made me see the person I was when I attracted my ex in the first place, which will help me attract others in the future.
-They've listened when I talked and would always say that I can call them anytime, day or night. Knowing that someone is there is a great feeling.
-They tell me that they love me.
Hopefully, those will tips will help.

on 3/2/2007 Be a FRIEND-Be there all the time for them..Show your love and care..Support them in many ways..Give them the shoulder to cry on.Hug them express to them that they are important to you that you care for them alot!Most importantly BE PATIENCE with them fully through this Painful Stage!

on 2/2/2007 The way to encourage your friend after a break-up is to talk to them about the problem and tell the how they feel about it,Then after Just Change the subject about a new guy or girl,if not just tell him or her if they wan't to do something,Like watch a movie,go ice skating,or go to the mall ect.
Just make sure your friend has his or her mind off of the break up,It'll be hard,But at least just try.



-Sammie

on 12/8/2006 Whatever you do leave alcohol out of it. My friend and I went drinking and really hung one on - the next day was the worst day of my life. Remember - alcohol is a depressant.

on 8/23/2006 I'm currently dealing with a breakup, and have had this said to me three times by the same friend: "You're a real catch, you'll be just fine." While that may be true, what it actually does is make me feel like my feelings of loneliness and heartbreak are invalid, as if those feelings shouldn't exist and that my pain is something to ignore. I've heard others talk about this, but I wanted to give my input on how it makes a person feel.

on 8/8/2006 My friend's boyfriend was in love with her, and the were the happiest couple around. The only problem was he was in love with 2 other chicks, one more than his own girlfriend. Then after all that they had gone through, all the obstacles, he suddenly breaks up with her out of no where. She is devastated and he uses the excuse that he wants to be there for her, when he knows as well as the other two girls that it's a bunch of hooey. If you have a friend who went through, or is going through, anything even the least bit similar to this, just shower her with love and comforting words. You are her best friend, who knows her better than you? Get the movies, get the snack foods, and just have a girls night along with all the rest of your posse. A girl's night will really help her, or at least distract her and take away the initial agony of it all.

on 8/8/2006 People all experience different things after break ups since no one is alike. To be a good friend, look at how they feel first, before you attempt anything. If they want time alone, you might not really want to spend time comforting them. If they want to move away from that topic, don't talk about how bad the ex is.

It's better if you can ask them how they feel and what they think first. If they are full of anger, you adapt to anger mode. If they are passive trying to forget, then you be passive and don't talk about it. Remember, find the problem first, think about how to solve it before you do it. "You don't treat a cold with cancer medication".

But whatever you do, don't talk about how bad your breakups were. Just don't talk about yourself (unless you're going away from the subject, but be careful not to go talking about your problems) because right now, you are not the one that needs the comfort. You're comforting, so don't talk about you or your friend will be upset.

Also, make sure you don't over do it. That makes whatever you're doing look awkward and fake. Just do enough to be a friend and not like a personal psychologist.

on 8/8/2006 The worst thing you can do is tell them right after the breakup how you feel about that person. This will only make the matter worse and the stress level will rise to a point were you could lose the friendship, or not be able to talk as much. Support is the best thing you can offer anyone. Cheer them up. It may take a while, but it might work (based on a 50-50 chance).

on 1/26/2006 When my friend broke up with her live-in boyfriend of five years, I went straight over to her flat and saw that her home was looking very sparse with all his stuff gone. I immediately bundled her into the car and we spent the day buying new things for the flat. We made a point of buying girlie things and stuff that her ex had never liked. Now, even though she is still depressed, when she comes home to an empty apartment in the evenings she says that she smiles to see her new girlie acquisitions.

on 11/30/2005 Talk to her about one of your recent break ups (if it's not to painful) and piont out which ways its similar and how you've got over it. keep telling her she'll get over it but it'll take time and she should take as much time as she needs. however don't pretnd you no exactly what she's going through if she and you no u haven't but say somthing like "i know i can only imagine what your feeling right now but..."

on 11/30/2005 it's always really hard if the dumpee won't talk and no one else dares to say anything in case it upsets her but try doing activities that don't require talking or teamwork but that u can do as a group fill the silences. try eating ice cream, listening to music, doing something arty or watching a movie.

on 11/22/2005 The best thing to do is to give her a hug! Then sit by her as she pours her heart out to you and not say anything, but just holding her hand helps. Show your love for her by not saying but showing different ways to heal her soul. Laugh together when she starts smiling about a joke. Always maintain eye contact with her when she speaks. This shows you care.

on 11/22/2005 listen to them and the best thing is to make him/her to talk about the bad qualities of the ex.

on 11/22/2005 Ice cream can help any woman feel better about a breakup. Chick movies also help because they show how women just like them overcome hard obstacles. Combined, these two powerful healers can make a women get over the breakup.