Comments on: How to Know When It's Over

on 11/1/2008 Ugh, it's never easy. But you make a lot of sense.

on 10/21/2008 yeah, im being used,abuse,cheated on & lied to. We talk about it already,he made some promises too but im disappointed cause lately he commited a terrible mistake. I cant bear it anymore, its time to stop this madness.He cheated to me,and now i suffer of it cause im have an infection for what he did. Thanks why im breaking up with him.

on 10/21/2008 The 7 steps mentioned above are what I have been searching for months for. I needed answer now I have them, beautifully written

on 9/13/2008 hi heartofstone... we can always leave, lose & 4get a boyfriend by any circumstance but never it was for a family to 4get a son or a daughter. think of d story of d prodigal son... after all... he came back to repent & his father accepted him:) it is always d best thing 2 decide what would b better 4 u.

on 9/13/2008 hi stuzzyg, just 4 my opinion... ur gf might have a deeper reasons why she left u. it's true that there r some thing that much better left unsaid... whatever it is just try to respect her decision coz if she really loves u she will definitely find her way back 2 u. as u said she already had 3 kids from her past relationships, the mere fact that u still lived with her despite that means a lot but seems she really wanted to go so let her be... besides u were not married. both of u needs to move on just try to understand her decision and her health condition maybe she just don't want to cause any harm on u part.

on 8/13/2008 heartofstone i relate to you soooo much. me and my ex or whatever he is i have no idea agrea we love each other and dont want to brake up, but cant continue the way we are. i thought calling it quits was the right way to go, but neather of us is ready to let go. its never easy enough. we both dont have kids and have our whole lives infront of us.

on 7/8/2008 Could someone please offer their ideas and opinions on this one.
Im 29 Years old and have been dating a girl who is 23 for the best part of 2 years.
I lived in Ireland and my girlfriend in England, we had a long distance relationship up until April this year were I decided that it was right for me to move over, get a job and live with my partner.
My girlfriend has a child of 3 from another relationship. We had been living together for only 12 weeks and just last week she broke ties and headed back to live with her mother.
My girlfriend has bad epilepsy and things were hard for the past 3 months.
She decided to pack up and leave after us getting an appartment and fully furnishing the whole place.
Her reasons are breaking me down badly. She felt that since I moved to Liverpool I have been unhappy and this made her unhappy, she said that because of this she was full of guilt which got

on 6/28/2008 I live with my boyfriend and we still love each other so much. It has finally come to the point where we are just tired of arguing with each other. We both realize that we don't get along and probably never will. Yet neither one of us is totally prepared to call it quits and move on. We're both 21 we don't have any kids, and we have our whole lives ahead of us you'd think it would be easy enough. I left home 3 times already I know I should bury my pride but I feel embarrassed to have to go back.

on 6/12/2008 I've been married 15 years, but my constantly talking wife is driving me crazy -- I can't do anything without constant interruptios. I'm an engineer and need quiet time to concentrate on whatever I'm trying to do -- I need to focus on the problem at hand, but can't do it. I know I could find compatable women for good companionship (we have no minor children, and are too old for new ones) but it's really hard to force a divorce. Yet unless or until I do I have nothing to offer anyone else. What should I do? I'm not one to cheat on my wife while still married, but I'm really despirate -- this whole thing is driving me crazy (not psychologically fortunately).

on 12/16/2007 The Break Up-Leting go of some one you loved for so long and accepting that its over is hard, especially if you have children together.Im finding out the hard way.My ex boyfriend is sleeping with other women, even though its over i feel that its not right and he doesn't respect me any more.We are still Living together.I try to get along with him for the sake of the kids.and accasionally we get along.I fear that if I dont leave before him things will only get worse for myself.I have tolerated alot of his mental and emotional abuse, it has affected my self estem.But he hasnt taken my soul.Im hanging in there.He tells me that hes leaving when the lease is up on the house,So Until he leaves me I can get on with my life...How can I make things abit easier for myself?

on 12/16/2007 The Break Up-Accepting that its over.Leting go of some one who you spent most your life with is hard,especially if you have children together.Im finding out the hard way.My ex boy friend is sleeping with other women while we still live togther.Even though its over I dont think its right and that he has no respect for me.We both are living together.We try to get along for the sake of the kids.I have to live everyday with his negative attitude towards me,all the name calling everything.It has done alot to my self estem.I try and better myself but I fear that if i dont leave before him things will only get worse for myself.He says he will be leaving next year when the lease is up.So until then I cant except that its over .When he leaves I can finally get on with my Life.

on 10/17/2007 i've been with my boyfriend for about 7 years and within those 2 years we broke up and i still had deep feelings for him. during those 2 years he dated someone while talking to me. i honestly don't know why i got back with, i mean i know i love him, but i don't think i ever truly recovered from what he did to me. it has been over a year and i am still an open wound.

on 10/11/2007 I am a mom of 7. My boyfriend and I have 2 of the children together. He is a good provider and a great Dad. I am feeling that he has a little more going on than him and I.
He goes to work at 4 am and his phone is off until 9 am. He also spent the night at a hotel last week so he could be at work at 4 am. He never went to work until 9:30 am. If I was insecure I would be crazy about this but I am just needing some advice. This is an honest man, but lately I am questioning his loyalty. Crazy? Or should I have concern? I love him, but I will have no problem walking away. I can let go very easily. Help....

on 7/19/2007 Ok my girlfriend went out of town for about a month and while she was gone she met a guy and spent all her time with him. She never told me about it. I found out and out initial reaction, we broke up. But now i am wishing that we didn't because we had a great time together. I dont know if i should try to mend our relationship or just give up. What should i do???

on 4/10/2007 First of all, thank you to everyone who has commented on here. This web site has done more to help me see things as they really are than any other source.
They say "you can never go back" and relive what once was. Well, I tried to negate that theory by choosing to engage in an affair with someone I dearly loved 13 years ago, but was dumped for someone else. He convinced me that he still "loved" me all these years later (he's still with the one I got dumped for)& implied that his spouse was not meeting his needs, and that we were essentially "married" way back when, because we were intimate prior to the one he's currently married to. Shakey ground, I know. I even accepted his self-diagnosed idea that he has a dual-personality, which , in retrospect, was a neat & tidy way to (seemingly) assign blame & responsibility elsewhere.
Looking back, I cannot fathom why I would but into all this madness. Yet, I was so consumed to recapturing "the dream" while ignoring the reality that pain, hurt, abandonment were a part of this past as well.
My advice, it's not worth it. The issues that hurt you, the person who used you and left you without giving a rip if you were OK or not.. a person with character flaws such as these is not going to change.
Yeah, during this brief "reunion" there were "fireworks" and brief spells of happiness, but 90% was painfully lonely, the hardest part is forgiving myself, for putting myself through this.. again. One more thing, I did tell him from the beginning of our "reunion," I'm not giving this relationship 100% for a long time, I'm keeping 5% for me..just in case." Am I ever glad I did. At least now I can rebuild my life, and go on with the comfort that, at least in my book, third chances do not exist.