Comments on: How to Encourage Teens to Clean Their Rooms

on 1/18/2006 I really agree with setting a deadline for having the room clean, and then not nagging for the period of time until it's done. Nagging really turns me off and makes me not want to do what my parents are asking. Make the deadline reasonable - look at their schedule and make sure they have enough time before it to get the cleaning done. If they fail to finish it by then, ground them and set a new deadline - since they're grounded, they won't have much else to do except clean their room anyway. This method shows us that you're in control ultimately, but gives us a chance to choose exactly when and how to get our room clean - we don't feel so constricted.

on 12/30/2005 Have them invite a new friend over, they will want their room to be clean then.

on 11/22/2005 Once I became a teenager, my parents held off on trying to get me to clean my room. If I made a mess in another room, then I had to clean it, but my room was for me to do as I please in.

It was often very messy, but really, does that matter? I'm 22 now and I keep my room clean. Let teens keep their rooms messy. It shouldn't affect anyone but them.

on 11/22/2005 1) Use the same method of discipline that you've used throughout their lives (you have been disciplining them right?), to get them to clean their rooms. If you've been a pushover in up until this point, its going to be a long road.

2) Follow through on all of your threats. Going to take away the car keys? Do it. Going to throw CD's away? Do it. Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk or they will literally walk all over you.

3) Do not do it for them. That won't motivate them, that will show them you're weak and that you will give in before they do.

4) Why should you offer them a reward for something that's their responsibility in the first place? Tell them they can decorate their space anyway they want to, as long as it's clean and they pick up after themselves.

on 11/22/2005 Nagging cultivates procrastination, and many would agree that you're hurting your child in many other aspects of his life while helping him in one.

On the other hand, the "Clean your d*** room!" approach tends to be seen as something hostile and suggests a defensive reaction.

Privacy tends to be very important for teens, and sometimes the only control outlet they have. The hardest thing to overcome is the initial barrier of being overwhelmed with what needs to be cleaned. Try not to push it. If you nagged for a while, use a different approach to get his attention, but giving him means to clean his room (shelves and drawers) can be the most important because it creates a sense of responsibility in your teen, and an empty drawer is just a space filler.

If all else fails, do remember that your teen will grow up and redefine the value of order, it's just a matter of time.

on 11/22/2005 Growing up in my home as a child I never received an allowance. I worked every summer for my father from the age of 13 and saved up my money to use for the rest of the year. I always had my room tidy and all my laundry was done (yes I did it all myself along with everyone else). I did dishes, cleaned the kitchen and helped my mother with dinner. I was the youngest of 2 boys.

I don't agree with rewarding kids for something they should be doing anyway. Too many kids today have no respect and no self discipline. To this day my house is spotless, even though I work 70 hours a week. My children get home from school and their first duty is to their homework. When I get home, I know their homework is done. I help check it over with them. Then they do chores. Their prize for getting chores done early is they then can watch TV until bed time. I don't consider that a bribe as an allowance. It's the same thing I do. My reward for getting my work done early at the office is I get to come home and spend time with my family.

on 11/22/2005 I have 4 girls ages 6 to teens. Every night we walk through the rooms. Anything on the floor or out of place goes into a "Take-Away Box". If the room is clean, one thing can be taken out of the take-away box, even if it wasn't theirs to begin with.

At first the box needs to be fairly large, but soon the kids start realizing that things are going away and the amount of clutter reduces dramatically. This also gives children immediate reward by a trip to the treasure chest. It's more powerful than just throwing stuff away or just taking it away because they can earn it back. My kids love it because it gives them the ability to get stuff out of the box that wasn't theirs, if they want. It also teaches them the importance of knowing what they really like and what they don't. Every so often, once a month or so, we go through the box together and those items that nobody wants are either given away or thrown away.

on 11/22/2005 Don't encourage them to throw things out, encourage them to donate them. It is a much more efficient and rewarding way to get rid of unwanted items. If you throw them out then that is just more garbage filling our already overly full landfills. They will be more likely to get rid of it knowing someone else will use it.

on 11/22/2005 Teens, guess what, you don't know everything! You're young, and you're not as stressed as you think. Your only job is to go to school and participate in your activities. Your parents have to work and make money to buy all of the things you put in your room and to pay your allowance. You sound like a spoiled brat when you say your parents shouldn't come in your room - why not, they own everything in it!
It's true that teens won't want to clean if they get hassled - it ignites that rebellious flame. However, if parents work with their kids to set goals and deadlines for cleanliness with inexpensive rewards, things get accomplished. The parent should never reward the kid with money - that just means more stuff will get bought and put in an already messy room. Instead, rewards could be special meals, special activities, special privileges.

The parent shouldn't have to buy things to put in the teen's room to encourage organization - work with your teen to create organizational tools with the stuff he already has. Shoe boxes and crates that are lying around the house can work wonders, and enable the teen to rearrange at his leisure. Plus, you get to be creative and make your own system, which is more effective at teaching long-term organizational skills for any teen to use forever and ever.

on 11/22/2005 I've been noticing while walking through stores that there are beds and desks that would be more efficient and save space in my room. I think that space is a very important thing. It allows you to spread your essence. I also think that the more efficient the furniture is (and the more stylish), the more we, as teens, would appreciate it.

on 11/22/2005 I'm 15, and they way I clean my room is very simple. I start with the floor and the old fashioned Grab'n Put method. Get some empty boxes. Kneel on the floor, grab random handfuls of stuff, and put them in the box, when the box is full, put it in a corner, and fill another box, when the floor is cleaned up (or when you run out of boxes) go through the boxes; Trash trash, put books on shelves, deal with clothes clean or dirty, but papers in a small box, etc. Then once the floor is cleared up, move on to other parts of the room to clean. You can also try moving furniture around to make more room, and to avoid problems when moving furniture you should remember, The measuring tape is your friend.

on 11/22/2005 Tell your kids that clutter-spots are good. If they have an official clutter-spot, it keeps all that junk from collecting. For instance; on their bed or the floor. Use something like the top of some shelves or a closer for clutter. Just don't let it get out of hand.

on 11/22/2005 Every couple of days my daughter and I speed clean. We crank up two songs we both like and try to clean as much as we can before the songs end.

on 11/22/2005 I take photos of my room when it is in super-clean condition, and if it begins to get messy again, I take out those pictures to motivate me to clean it again.

on 11/22/2005 I have no problems cleaning my room, and once I finally get into it; it's kinda fun. But when I look at the mess it's like "Where do i start?" My advice for parents is don't nag. Suggest they clean the room, but then leave it at that. You can joke about the room being messy, for example my dad put a bio hazard sign on my door! Don't push it too far though, you don't want to offend them, just make them feel embarrassed about their room. My advice to teens is to get it done. There's a nice sense of achievement when your room is clean and looks nice. You could make it fun and be creative by changing your furniture around and giving your room new look. I find it really hard to keep my room clean, but if you can spend ten minutes a day putting stuff away it helps. You can put rubbish in the bin or sort your clothes while you're listening to music or talking on the phone. It saves a huge job later.