Comments on: How to Know It's the Right Time to Have Sex

on 8/8/2006 Sex should always be saved for marriage. I'm only 14, and some of my friends talk about how sex shouldn't be put off until then, they think it's stupid to wait. I think they are so wrong. I honestly believe that sex is for marriage. Sex brings on so much responsibility that can be the downfall of a relationship that would have otherwise led to marriage. Pregnancy and STDs can only be prevented by abstinence. And just because the times have changed, doesn't mean that God's view of sex has changed. Sex is meant to blend two people into one. It binds you, your commitment, and your intimacy together for eternity. The feeling in your gut about your partner doesn't even amount the pain and regret you may feel later.

on 2/21/2006 Before having sex one should consider a number of factors;
1. What is your goal in having sex? Pleasure, intimacy or simply the experience?
2. Are you educated and know how to protect yourself and your partner? Are you mature enough to deal with the consequences if something goes wrong? This means knowing (if you are having heterosexual sex) if you could deal with the possibility of pregnancy, AIDS, STDs or any other number of possible problems - look at the worst possible outcomes: a condom breaking or someone walking in. Think it out and take precautions. If you can't deal with the thought of getting an abortion, giving the child away or raising a child don't have intercourse! Have oral sex or try some other form of sex play that can't result in pregnancy
3. Do you trust your partner and know their sexual history? (females especially since the first time usually hurts) When you lose your virginity you want it to be with someone you trust and who isn't simply using you. Ask yourself the question -would they still stay with me if we didn't have sex? If the answer is no, you don't want to sleep with this person- above all respect yourself!

on 11/22/2005 You'll know when you have a certain feeling in your gut. But make sure you talk to your partner before it happens. Talk about STD's and pregnancy and of course protection. Who's going to provide it? If you're partner isn't a virgin, you may want to tell them you are. That way they can be gentle with you to avoid hurting you.

Some say if you can't handle being naked in front of your partner, then you're not ready to have sex. And lastly, for many women losing your virginity can be emotional. Guys don't just turn to the other side or get up to get dressed. Comfort her. For the women it may be looked upon as a lifetime bond, because you have something no other guy will ever have that once belonged to her.

on 11/22/2005 All through my early to mid-twenties I had the same boyfriend. I thought that we should have sex. Why? Because that?s what you?re supposed to do right? Like many people that was as far as I had thought it through. He thought it was better to wait until marriage. So now I?m 29 and you know what? I?m glad he was so sensible. I had no idea who I was or what I wanted and needed. I now understand that I would rather wait until marriage. If you are in a committed relationship and you know you are both ready, you both love each other, and you want the same things- fantastic. But if you?re not sure, don?t be embarrassed and don?t let others impose their beliefs on you. It?s OK to wait. There?s nothing wrong with you in spite of what our culture would have you believe. If you're uncertain, ask yourself this: How can you share yourself with another person if you don?t yet know who you are?

on 11/22/2005 Never drop a profound confession right before sex (i.e. I'm a virgin, I'm in love with you). Confessions spoil the mood and put a lot of pressure on your partner (as if they didn't have enough with the upcoming sex)! If you never had the time to tell them before, then you should tell them and give them time to digest the information. Then the sex will be more comfortable and fulfilling, and best of all, you'll feel better about it!

on 11/22/2005 You know the time is right when you feel like you are going to burst unless you feel that right now. When it is the right time, it will feel like the right time. Let go. Be free. Be yourself. Respect your partner. Respect yourself. Do it when you want to do it - never before. And use a condom.

on 11/22/2005 You are a precious person who should treat yourself (and who deserves to be treated) as a precious person. Don't give away your body as if it's some accessory; your body is part of who you are. It is, along with your soul, you. Ask yourself if the person you may someday marry deserves all of you, or just remnants. Keep your future spouse in mind at all times, and save yourself for him or her, alone. You will never regret that, but you will regret giving yourself away, getting pregnant outside of marriage, getting an STD, or having your heart broken. You are beautiful. Stay that way.

on 11/22/2005 Guys who pressure you into having sex with them are not in love with you. Therefore they are not someone who you'd want to share this experience with. Wait until you find someone you love, and who loves you back. Then you'll know. If you're in a relationship, wait. The longer you wait, the better. Get to know the person. Saying "I love you" during the act will be the best thing. Doing it without being sure if the person will still like you afterward will only cause anxiety, and even a broken heart.

on 11/22/2005 The one factor you should pay attention to (in determining if it's the right time to have sex) is whether or not you are married! If there isn't a ring on her left ring finger (which you put there), then it isn't time yet.

on 11/22/2005 If you know you love each other, and you are thinking of marriage, the time is right to see how you relate to each other sexually, too. If after marriage you discover that you don't enjoy the same things, it will be too late. A poor sexual compatibility will leave the marriage empty, and emotions will wane. You may be very sexual while your partner might not be so, this can lead to various complications later on.

on 11/22/2005 I have learned the hard way that it's better to wait until you are married to have sex. You don't hear people who wait until they are married complaining about sex. Hear this - I began having sex before I was married (I'm still single) and it is the biggest cause of separation between me and my God. Do yourself a favor, wait until after you get married to have sex.

on 11/22/2005 What you do now will have consequences in your future relationships. The only way to be sure you're doing the right thing is to be married. This isn't just a religious thing. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. If you don't have that, you don't know what damage you could be doing to yourself, and what pain you will cause yourself and others who want to love you later. It will affect you in ways you won't know about until it's too late. If you want the best for each other, you'll wait.

on 11/22/2005 I am a 31 year old woman and I think waiting is one of the best moves you can make. It doesn't matter if you are not a virgin...You can reclaim your power and this shows your mate you respect yourself and they will respect you more for this decision. If not, move on...They were not worth your time...NEXT!

on 11/22/2005 Sharing yourself with your partner is the most precious gift in the relationship. Waiting enhances everything in the relationship. Truly knowing one another on all levels prior to this step indicates mutual respect and compassion. If you just wanted a jump in the hay, would you even be reading this? Respect yourself and if your partner truly loves you, they too will respect your decision to wait.

on 11/22/2005 Bravo to the girl that said sex after marriage is better. Nowadays, it seems like everyone is doing it, but they're not. There's no shame in waiting. In fact, your husband would be honored and will love you for it.