Comments on: How to Deal with the Aftermath of Infidelity.

on 4/28/2009 I realy needed to read this I wasn't sure what to do anymore. I found out about my husband of 17 years that he had an affair. It's been a Year a hard year but we are trying to make it work. I was ready to give up cause it's like I'm on this roller coaster and can't get off. I don't know how to survive and get on with our lives. Now I have an idea and not to give up.

on 4/7/2009 On April 3rd, I found text messages on my husband phone that were from a woman saying how much she missed him and wanted to see him again. We have two beautiful boys (5 and 3) and I am pregnant with our third boy. we have been married for six years. I confronted him with the messages and he denied any wrong doing. I kicked out of the house and all he can say is Im so sorry. He has now told me the truth and has conffesed to having this affair for the past ten months. I have now exccepted God into my life and has relieved my pain. I am seeking counceling in my church and I feel that without God I would not be able to handle this nightmare! The rage is gone and a feeling of whats to come and not knowing is scary but I pray that my life and my childrens will be ok with or without him. It's gonna take a long time to heal or maybe a short time. Only God knows and I am ok with what ever he want

on 1/25/2009 My spouse of 24 years recently (May2007 - April2008)had an affair with an inlaw. my 1st feeling of his betrayel was my intuition, I just knew something was not right, he was behaving differently...I began searching his things & found condoms in his wallet. I was eventually told by a close family member about his unfaithfullness. I confronted him he denied it. I went throught the emmotion of rage then kicked him out. It was the first time in 24 years that I was alone ( Not fully I have 2 beautiful daughters 7 & 17).After being semi-seperated for 2 months I felt the affair was still happening, so i went through the emmotion of his my man and took him back. A decision I am regretting. I am not a vendictive person or by any way a mean one but these emmotions that I am feeling are ugly and they are turning me into a woman I am not nor do I want to become. I can NOT get him & her out of my min

on 1/20/2009 My wife cheated on me while in Las vegas with her ex-boyfriend from 10 years ago. I did not see this coming and was completely devestated. Although it was approximately 6 months ago, I still wonder if she thinks about him, has secretly contacted him via e-mail or really wants to be with him rather than me. Funny thing is, I am in the military and am currently gone from her and my family (daughter and son) for the next 4 months. Wondering if she is doing something behind my back is driving me crazy. I am a faithful, loyal husband and would never cheat on her. When she admitted her affair to me she had no answers and cuold not explain to me why she cheated. I am still ful of questions but I fear it is too late to ask. I do not want to bring up the issue again and open the wound up again. I need help. I am just devestated!!!

on 12/16/2008 I too have found out my husbands infidelity. He stated that it was a one time thing and has answered my questions about it. Im just worried that if I let him back in will he do it again. Throughout this situation it has been very dramatic and emotionally and mentally tiresome on both of us. I just continue to pray that if it is meant to be it will be

on 10/21/2008 A great article! Amen!

on 10/20/2008 It's been about a week since I received an anonymous letter in the mail stating that my husband had a 5 year long relationship. This website has helped to confirm the processes of feelings. I was aware that something was wrong, but no matter how I tried to get my husband to talk about it he wouldn't. It is a very sad time. In a way, the letter was a gift in that it gave me a real excuse to make phones calls and fact check alibis. I think I could be a good private investigator. When I confronted my husband, he, who has the avoidance behavior of a 12 year old, could not deny it at all. The rage and loneliness is so deep and dark that I can't even put it into words. I am going to slowly move toward what I want and hope that he has the courage to come along. I know now that he can, nor anyone for that matter, no longer fulfill all my needs and I have to develop the language and stren

on 10/16/2008 I just found out today that my husband cheated on me. I am so lost, angry, hurt, and devasted. I hope its gets easier. I don't know what I'm going to do. Simpleecnmi---You have a good point. My happiness is worth nothing compared to the contentment and happiness of my son. How do I survive? Please help.

on 10/6/2008 I am currently going through the process of betrayal done by my wife now, it hurts and doesn't look like I am recovering fast. Its been a couple weeks since I know the affair that's been going on 3 years.

on 9/15/2008 who ever you are, you must have really experienced a terrible heart break and have come through a hero. The emotional phases and issues you mentioned are exactly right. The hardest part though for me, is the the decisison making of wether or not to continue my marriage or to leave because, I have children with my husband. Despite the fact that I do have a good career and can support myself and my children, I feel that my happiness is worth nothing compared to the contentment and happiness for my children, no matter how much it hurts. My children do not see my pain, I pretend very well but, when I am alone I cry a lot because, I trusted my husband so much, he was my best friend.

on 7/3/2008 No matter how many places I look, I cannot find anything that gives the advice I need. My fiancee was the victim on infidelity. His ex-wife cheated for 8 years before he found out. Now we are together and things are near perfect 99% of the time. The trouble is the 1% of the time that he has irrational fears, doesn't trust me, accuses me of things I haven't done and interegates me. He is very insecure and needs constant reassurance. I understand why he has trouble with these feelings of anxiety, and when I point out that I am not his ex-wife he apologizes and says he needs help. We can't find help, and we can't afford a psychologist. How can he learn to trust again in this new relationship?

on 6/2/2008 It takes a very strong man or woman to build trust after infidelity. I will agree this is a great article.

on 5/29/2008 Another great article. You know your stuff!