Comments on: How to Raise a Sensitive Boy in a Sexist Society

on 5/17/2008 I've found the best way to encourage an aspect of character in any child is to be an example of it, and to respect it in other people.
If you want to raise a boy to be a sensitive man, be sensitive yourself, and surround yourself with people who have the same values. Protecting him from the world won't mitigate its effects on him. You CAN give him good examples of how to handle it.
Protect a boy's sensitivity and he feels safe for a day. Teach him the futility of violence and insensitivity, and to value and respect his own and other people's sensitivity and you've built a man who has the strength and skill to be sensitive all his life.

on 3/12/2008 My problem is not about raising a sensitive boy. I have one. I don't mean sensitive as in shy or introverted. He's very gregarious, outgoing. But he has depth, emotional sensitivity, and a high personal ethical standard.

So then what! Now he's in high school, loved and cherished by many who appreciate his qualities. But: he is periodically in tears, and I fear fighting depression, because he cannot find any "real friends", friends he can really talk to. He envies the girls who have those close relationships, can talk with each other about "anything", lots of hugs, intimate conversations. He says he can't find any boys he could have that kind of close "best friends; talk about anything" relationship. And he says he can't really try to cultivate that with girls, because there is the suspicion that he is seeking romance (his words: they don't trust a boy"). And no, he doesn't

on 12/31/2007 Your intentions were admirable, but your methods are quite extreme, imo. The best way to teach your son to respect women is to be a strong female role model yourself! My boyfriend is perfectly egalitarian, and it was never forced on him. He was simply raised well, and is intelligent and open-minded enough to embrace these ideals on his own.

on 12/28/2007 Good article . . . stick to your guns

on 12/28/2007 This is a very hurtful article! My younger brother is a sensitive teen & he didn't get that way deprived of "life". In fact he live's a very violent life, but he chooses to be sensitive. What is wrong with having feelings for the same-sex? My older sister was "bi" until she found the man that is engaged to now & my family are very libral in politics. We have been involve with gay rights & things of that nature for many years. This is most offensive! What is wrong with video games anyway? Around here that's all that people ever do. Some turn out fine & some don't, but it depends on the type of person they are, not the game there playing. School is apart of life, you can't shelter people from life, because when it happens, it happens. You can't just make it disapper like a some magic trick. I'm sorry, but I find this article to be having some problems of its own. Teach morals, not hate!

on 1/16/2007 oh yeah shield him away from the world and his manhood, oh and send him to boot camp that so his soul will be crush, u know when he comes back from it he won't be sensative no more. the world is pretty messed up just how long are you going to keep this up.

on 1/14/2007 It is offensive to consider a sensitive boy or man spineless and with no self esteem. I have met plenty who are sensitive and can stand up for themselves and others. Also, what is with your bias against gays? I think you need to take a look at some issues within yourself. There are all kinds of men in this world, and not all men want to be inconsiderate just because society tells them that's the way a man should be. It is hard to be sensitive and considerate in this society, and the man who can do this is the strong man.

on 1/14/2007 That's just creepy. Let your son be a normal kid. Let him experience being a kid. If he starts degrading women or disrespecting him, tell him not to. You're the parent, and it doesn't matter where he's raised, it's how he's raised. I play GTA, I watch commercial T.V, I went to Middle School and you know what? I hold doors, I let women go first, I never refer to them as "bitches" or "hoes", I respect them and I think they're a vital part of society.

Because that's what my mommy told me to do.

Lucas.

on 1/13/2007 wii test

on 1/13/2007 This article has some good tips such as never letting him here you negatively describe him, surround him with good role models and removing senseless violence and things that make him question his sense of worth. However, removing him from middle school is the worst suggestion I've heard as these are formative years where he needs to be challenged and exposed to his peers. Here he will learn valuable lessons about relating to others and with the right bolstering from parents he will do well as long as they remain aware of what he's going through. Removal is just excessive "mothering" which is detrimental after a point. Set him goals from which he will learn and be supportive even if he fails so he won't be afraid to try again. Make sure he does his homework and if needed set some for him. Risk is a vital part of a boy/mans life so a parent has to take the risk by letting him deal with all life has to offer; just always be there for him with insightful words of encouragement and love. Team sports are a great idea so he can become part of a group who value eachother. P.S. However, to all those who think treating your son with cotton gloves raises gay men, it is now understood that sexual orientation is genetic and that being soft doesn't make them suddenly attracted to hairy, muscular bodies. It will just make them unable to attract whoever they're meant to be with which is worse.

on 1/13/2007 Close this article. What a load of rubbish. This crap has no place in the real world.

on 1/13/2007 DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR KID. tHEY WILL REBEL OR END UP LIVING IN YOUR HOUSE TILL THERE 60. THERE LIFE WILL SUCK. Please close this article and never think about it again. Let him/her live.

on 1/18/2007 What kind of person must you be to actually try to make your son a spineless emo gay. No wonder the percentage of gays are increasing there are people like this running around. This is comeing from a parent of three grown boys. NEVER do these kinds of things with your son especially the middle school tip. If you raise your son like this it is equal to handing him a HI im gay sign and getting him a nice box to live in because they will have no sense of self esteem from the constant ridicule and necer have the balls to go and take a risk in his life. Boys need to satisfy their need for male things like sports, girls, video games and testosterone driven things to grow up right and be happy. they will turn out goth if they dont turn out gay because they will try to resist the parental control they are under. parents i suggest you close this window and never think about this article again.

on 1/12/2007 ~OK, first of all, do you know how many people are successful in the arts? Look on tv, in the papers, at a local theatre or art exhibit. And do you know how many of them are male? Quite a few actually. I'm in a special arts program and let me tell you, I know alot of guys that will be successful, and not just in the arts either.

I think that you should look around and open your eyes to all the positive examples the world has to offer before you leave comments like that. And by the way, many women are confused about the world too.

on 1/18/2007 Wow, what kind of sick, f'ed up, conclusion is this world coming to. I hope no parent would ever force their child to go through this. If you want a suicidal kid confused about himself and society, then go right ahead and raise him like that. Do you honestly think that he'll be successful in business ventures and making an honest living. There are plenty of ways to raise a boy to be sensitive without dooming him to rejection. Try church or team sports. They provide the building blocks for a successful citizen.