Comments on: How to Come Out to Your Parents

on 10/11/2007 Unless you have some previous awareness your family will take it well, I would suggest taking it in stages. Introduce a gay or lesbian friend first and watch their reaction. If you are still under legal age or financially dependent on them, the risks of coming out are much higher.

If they have already shown negative attitudes about gays and lesbians, do not put yourself in a position where they can make a negative impact on your livelihood, your housing or your personal possessions.

on 10/11/2007 I found it easier to come out to my sister first and she was behind me when I finally decided to come out to my parents.

on 6/30/2006 When I came out, my parents pretty much already knew. It was difficult, because they joked about it with me all the time before I came out and I thought that they regarded the whole thing as a joke. That made it difficult to talk to them.

I wrote my mother a letter and stuck it beneath her windshield wipers; she found it that morning and wrote me back saying she already knew and it didn't change anything.

Writing a letter, if done well, is one of the best indirect ways to come out. Remember, though, this doesn't solve the whole issue -- eventually you will have to talk to them about it. This is just a way of making it easier to do.

on 6/30/2006 My parents just found out I am a lesbian, and with both of them being strict Mormons, let's just say their reaction was similar to the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima. They took everything away from me as a punishment. Now they are claiming they did this because I was dating a girl behind their back and didn't tell them I was lesbian sooner. I just got my computer back today, but they still have my car and cell phone. They won't let me talk to my fiancé, let alone see her, and now they are taking me to a psychiatrist (apparently I need mental help for being a lesbian).

My advice to everyone is help your parents understand. I agreed to go to a shrink, and I have shown them websites to help them understand. You just have to be patient, no parent is going to accept it right away, but they have to eventually or risk losing their child forever.

on 11/22/2005 That coming out to your parents usually means that you are no longer affected by any threat to disclose your sexual identity to your parents. In addition, you can relieve the enormous stress of keeping your two lives totally separate - never making a mistake with pronouns, etc.