Comments on: How to Get Over a Breakup

on 2/1/2008 For more about Valentine's Day why not drop in and visit me and my friends at our love and relationship thread on the forum pages: http://www.ehow.com/community/forums/topic_33827_valentine’s-day:-in-love?-broken-hearted?-alone?-how-do-you-deal?.aspx

on 6/19/2007 i got my feelin caught up wit a man i enjoyed his present but there was days when he treated me like chixken head i fed him ,clothes him and never ask him for much just time and i couldnt get dat it my fault becuz i expected more then what i was gettin. i can say i love a man wh wasnt happy at home would do any thing for him to make him happy and got nothing in return not even happy mothe day valentine or christmas gift. we work for the same company. there days i miss him when i dont hear from him but i know sooner or later i gotta let go but im bein foolish holdin on to nothing dat there. what hurt me most i show him made love and respect but ath e end of day he dont call me ask me how im don and sleep with his woman of 16yrs. how can a man not be gettin his pleasure and hapyness at home remain with the female but do other women? im lost

on 6/19/2007 im in a sitution where the man i like got he best of me becuz i allow it and i wanna gain my strenth back and be the person i was b4 i met hte pig snob make it so bad he knows how i feel bout him feedin him clothin tellin him how much u care earn a man heart or even respect i admit im dum,b ecuz yes the man got a woman an he been cheatin on her for the last 16yrs of the relationship i been seein him for 9 months and becuz i care so much doin for him made me happy but him mis treatin me hurt more and at times i think bout how his girl feel but bein stubburn minded there a point i dont care bout her becuz i dotn deal wit her

on 5/25/2007 I JUST broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. I really loved reading everyone's article's. It was so hard. He had been cheating on me a week before we had broke up and then what made it so hard was that the girl that he is with now is my enemy, but Britney04
Your article was what I needed. Thanks alot!!!

on 5/25/2007 .,

on 5/2/2007 I am not ashamed to admit that I got dumped by a looser. He had no stable job, got fired from his old job for showing up drunk, got stoned on a regular basis and didn’t believe in wearing undies! TO TOP IT UP, the last few months he had been seeing this other woman who is 25, has three kids and her eldest is turning 10 (do the math)
I on the other hand have a university degree behind me, starting my own business which is heading international in 2 years, I know I am not ugly.....and HE dumped ME....I was crushed! Our relationship lasted 1.5 years, in that time I accepted that reject for who he was and he just used and abused me. I would have taken him to the top with me (as I know I am heading for success) I work with an international director who works in close affiliation with Donald Trump.
I am very lucky I have dodged a looser! The say the best revenge is a successful life

on 5/2/2007 qd

on 4/30/2007 "I'm bringing sexy back!"
The worst thing a person could do during a relationship is let herself/himself go! I was on birth control and gain a couple pounds. At the time I didn't care about my appearence because all I really care about is that he loves me and he loves me for who I am! Wrong! When he broke up with me, I immediately got of birth control and I started to work on my fitness. I became a whole new person because I lost the weight, cut my hair, colored my hair, and I got new clothes. His mouth dropped when he saw the new me! I of course didn't accept him back because I was still upset on why we broke up in the first place.
This is my advice to make yourself feel better.
1. Work on your fitness and play fun music during your workout. It made my fitness fun when I will listen to Justin Timberlake song "I'm bringing sexy back".

on 3/12/2007 I've recently split up from a 12 year relationship and we have 3 kids together. My idea at first because I wasn't happy and now I've realized just how much I love him. He wants me to change this and that before he came back and it takes time to do things differently. He's always concentrating on all the things on do wrong and never the good. He says I've ruined his life and it's always been about me and I don't think of his feelings. It's a big long drawn out mess but I want to get over him and move on. I hate being alone and I've never felt I needed someone before. Maybe it's because I'm tired of a messed up relationship with someone that doesn't love me for who I am. I call him all the time and don't want to. We see each other everyday because of the kids and I just want to stay away and start working on being a better person and a good Mom. I want him to see that there are good things about me that he is just pushing away. He wants me to be understanding and considerate towards him but he can't do the same for me. I'm not perfect but I gave him a lot of affection and he gave nothing but negative attitudes. Well you do this and you do that. Never Shell I'm happy to see you trying even if you don't always succeed. It's hard to find someone that gives a little spark in my life. I keep trying to find something wrong with them. Help!

on 3/12/2007 i'm trying to get over a relationship that I don't want to end. I did at first but realized how much I really did love him. We were together for 12 years and all 3 of my kids belong to him. He expects a lot out of me and expects me to be understanding and considerate towards him. We have out right fights on the phone and my heart just can't take it anymore. He says I've ruined his life and all I wanted was to be with him. The story is too long to get into but today was hopefully our last big fight. I want to move on and concentrate on being a better person and a good mom. It is so hard for me not to call though because I do constantly. I would love to meet someone else but I really don't go anywhere and all the guys I know are married. I thought maybe if I weren't alone it would help. I never use to need to have someone in my life, but now I hate being lonely and just want someone to appreciate me for who I am not try to mold me to be what they want. It is so hard. The worst part about it is that my kids are suffering the most. I don't really have any close friends either. I did but she stold from me when I was in Iraq last year and I just don't want anything to do with her. HELP!! How do I force myself to stop calling him? I have to see him everyday because he takes care of our kids in the morning because I start work early and I have to stop at his place after work everyday to get my daughter's booster seat. How do I have as little contact with him having so much play in my life? Any ideas!

on 2/27/2007 How right you are *britney04*
As soon as they realise what they've missed out on, THEY are the ones pining.
What attracts guys in the first place? A confident, self assured woman who knows what she wants. When he sees you don't give a crap, he'll want the attention more, better still when he sees just how GREAT your life is going, he'll realise he's missing out on being a part of it.
But remember, as the saying goes, 'any attention is good attention', so no going ape sh**t and going psyco and bad mouthing him, it shows you're still hungup on him.
And Britney's other point on having a 'business man' in your life is a definate 10 POINTS. Just remember the guy has to be better than him. So your guy was a mechanic, your new guy is a scientist, a doctor, a LAWYER! (Just remember to make it believable... we're trying to make YOU EX look like the lame a** looser, not yourself).
We all want what we can't have, so together with men's territorialism and their need to have control and showing how he is in charge, him seeing that he doesn't have any of this, * NO CONTROL OVER YOU, DOESN'T HAVE THE UPPER HAND, * HIS ONCE "TERRITORY" now being taken over by a new ""BETTER"" man will drive him crazy :)
... Now isn't that the way we all want it??

on 2/27/2007 "STOP the inanity!" Your first problem is that you are begging him back. Wrong! In SO many ways that is the worst approach possible. Men sometimes want what they can't have. Men are territorial. He may not think he wants you, but I can assure you he will not sleep well knowing that you don't give a rat's *ss. All of the crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and pity you hope for will never happen. It sickens men to know you are that obsessed with losing them. However, beating yourself up is not going to help you achieve future happiness. Are you listening? This is the best advice you are ever going to get. No therapist will give it to you like this. Either make the mistakes I've made in my naive days, or wake the hell up and give this schmuck a run for his money. If you do not follow the rules exactly, you will fail miserably and all of the crying and pity parties in the world will get you no where. I'm being blunt because there is no time for sugar coating. If you listen to me and listen up good, he will not know what hit him. If he never comes back, what do you have to lose? At least you will not feel like an obsessive fool that is allowing him to weaken the strength that you have if you choose to have it. You must adapt to these new rules: Don't call him. Don't write 5 page love novels to him. Don't act jealous. DON'T let him see you cry. Simply appear that you do NOT give a rat's *ss. Go out. I don't care if it is all you can take to drag your miserable butt out of that bed GET OUT and breathe. If he hears through the grape vine that you are out having fun and NOT pining over him, he will bust his balls to find out what you are up to. And that's just basic human nature of men being territorial. He knows that he has you under his thumb. In his mind you are too hung up on him to have a life, and he views it as a pathetic weakness. Oh heck no, Missy. We can't have that. STOP all of this 'I'll love you til' the day I die' (whatever) crap. It is dramatic and it disgusts him. You see, men lack empathy most of the time. Their emotions are based on what they feel is logic. Women base emotions on emotion. That may, or may not make sense to you. Take it, or leave it. I'm telling you that you absolutely must make him believe that you are completely over him. Happy go lucky. Do not yap to your friends. You never know which backstabbing wench will run at the mouth, or just tell the wrong guy pal of his what you don't want him to know. To your friends that are in ANY way associated with him: Always use that. They do your PR and damage control. No dramatic, pitiful, long drawn out goodbyes. Let him wonder what in the hell you are avoiding him for. Either allow your emotions to turn you into a rabbit boiling psycho, or sew him a new butt hole by becoming the radiant confident man eater that you absolutely have to appear to be. He can make you feel like a fool, or you can have a piece of mind. And I don't care what road lizard he drags up with. Don't you DARE for ANY reason whatsoever appear to be jealous, hateful, or spiteful. Any lot lizard he turns to is a non-entity in your life. Be as sweet a pie and as cool as orange sherbet if any encounters happen (by accident, do not deliberately run into him.) Avoid that man like the plaque and it will get to him soon enough. In a matter of the next few weeks: You now have a new man interested in you. He is a business man. Find one, or fabricate one. But by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that you know in his arena. It may sound crazy, but it does help you to gain a better piece of mind. You are not ready to date and that's fine. But he does not have to know that. Don't pass by his place. If you have to break your fingers, do NOT call or contact him in any way. I don't care what excuse you have to call him, avoid it at all costs. No emails. No boo-hoooo I love you crap. Hun, buck up. You are about to give that Viagra-reject the ride of his life. If you want that goofy loser ba

on 2/27/2007 Learn to live with the pain..And accept the truth thats its Called a Break Up Becaused its Broken!!..Forvige your ex if he dumped you..Becaused By forgiving you can only forvige yourself and set yourself free form a broken heart...

on 2/27/2007 TIME...TIME...TIME Just TIME can Prove it all..

on 1/17/2007 All of this is great if you're the person who got left but here is some advice - having recently been dumped myself - for the one who has done the leaving: don't say you still want to be friends if you have no intention of being a real friend. If you're ashamed of your behavior, such as starting a new relationship when you were still in the old one, don't tell your ex that you want to maintain a friendship and then leave him or her hanging by not calling, writing, or communicating (you know, all those things we do with our actual friends on a regular basis) in any way. If your "let's stay friends" doesn't have any weight behind it do the decent thing and be clear about cutting off all communication and letting your ex know that's what you're doing. I wish mine had done that. Living in limbo is worse than the breakup.