Comments on How to Be a Pallbearer

sim716, shedding some light onto your comments: 1. plenty of women are pallbearers nowadays. 2. The suggestion was peppermint tea (not green tea) which is an excellent suggestion due to the calming effect it has on a person. No one wants to see an arrogant hothead carrying their deceased loved one around. 3. your suggestion of sending flowers prior to your duties, is precisely what was suggested in the article. "Handing out flowers" was only mentioned by you. 4. MY suggestion... pay attention to what you're reading before posting your ill-mannered criticisms. You will be less likely to make a fool of yourself this way.

I was one, along with 5 of my female cousins. It was our Uncles last request and when our Aunt called us we all said yes. He is the only man I have ever known to have 6 females pallbearers. It was a honor to know that we meant that much to him. He was a special Uncle to us all, like a second father. His daughter had passed away only a few hours after birth, so in some ways I guess we were his little girls on earth, we were the last to see him here on earth, and I am sure she was the first to meet him in heaven with Jesus.

I was one, along with 5 of my female cousins. It was our Uncles last request and when our Aunt called us we all said yes. He is the only man I have ever known to have 6 females pallbearers. It was a honor to know that we meant that much to him. He was a special Uncle to us all, like a second father. His daughter had passed away only a few hours after birth, so in some ways I guess we were his little girls on earth, we were the last to see him here on earth, and I am sure she was the first to meet him in heaven with Jesus.

If you are a little lacking in physical strength, try to align yourself so your stronger arm is doing the work. If you have biceps to spare, go left handed (or right as the case may be) to help balance things out.

If you are a little lacking in physical strength, try to align yourself so your stronger arm is doing the work. If you have biceps to spare, go left handed (or right as the case may be) to help balance things out.

I've borne the pall nearly a dozen times. It matters. The family has chosen you because 1) your relationship to the family/ deceased is important 2) you hold a particular role (all the grandsons, for example) 3) the deceased, especially the elderly, may not have known six people who are in sufficient health to perform this duty, so the extended family relies upon you. Now, that's the seriousness of the role. The difficulty is actually quite easy. When the burial was a mile or two away from the country church, without a hearse, the pallbearers had a very hard task. Now, though, the task is essentially six (usually men) whose jobs it is to lift the cart over thresholds and carry the pall just a few feet. If you haven't done it before, just keep an eye on the other pallbearers. Chances are some of them are, sadly, old pros.

I've borne the pall nearly a dozen times. It matters. The family has chosen you because 1) your relationship to the family/ deceased is important 2) you hold a particular role (all the grandsons, for example) 3) the deceased, especially the elderly, may not have known six people who are in sufficient health to perform this duty, so the extended family relies upon you. Now, that's the seriousness of the role. The difficulty is actually quite easy. When the burial was a mile or two away from the country church, without a hearse, the pallbearers had a very hard task. Now, though, the task is essentially six (usually men) whose jobs it is to lift the cart over thresholds and carry the pall just a few feet. If you haven't done it before, just keep an eye on the other pallbearers. Chances are some of them are, sadly, old pros.

The big thing is to listen. The funeral directors will tell you what to do. It is NOT hard at all.

The big thing is to listen. The funeral directors will tell you what to do. It is NOT hard at all.