Reasons for Bad Behavior in Children

Testing boundaries is part of the growing process.

Children who exhibit bad behavior are often not intentionally doing so. Learning to test boundaries is a part of the growing process. Sometimes, however, this behavior can turn from mischief and eager curiosity to very frightening displays of anger, sexual behavior or violence. Extremely negative behaviors in children can often be a sign of abuse or neglect. It may be difficult to discern between a child's normal acting out for attention and a sign that danger, including abuse or a potential mental disorder, may be present in the child's life.

The Child is Discovering His or Her World

As young infants move closer to being walking, talking toddlers, they pause along the way to develop new skills. Sitting, crawling, creeping and standing each allow children to see the world from a completely new perspective. As they begin to understand their ability to vocalize, they begin to test different sounds to gauge the reaction of their parents or caregivers. While a series of high-pitched screeches may be agonizing to the ears, the pained look on the caregiver's face indicates a reaction in the eyes of children. They may be curious about this, and repeat the sound several times. Constantly grabbing objects and "tasting" them is their way of exploring. Sense and motor development are part of the growing process, and putting things in the mouth gives them another dimension. Pulling things down, trying to mimic someone by mashing computer keys, screeching and loud babbling are all ways children learn to interact with the world around them. While this may be extremely frustrating, understanding the child's perspective will remind the caregiver that it isn't mischief or being "bad" that is causing the behavior.

Testing Boundaries in Toddlers and Early Childhood

The bridge from complete dependence in infancy and independence as a toddler can bring some behavior that may be considered "bad." Being stubborn or not listening is common at this age. It is not the child attempting to cause harm, he or she simply wants to do what he or she wants to do. Regardless of this urge, children need structure to help guide them, and letting a child exist without rules can have negative consequences too. A infant or toddler often wants to do things outside of their current abilities, and will act impulsively rather than considering consequences. Both of the behaviors can be maddening, but are completely normal. Providing distractions from dangers and a good support structure do not come without challenges, but it is also imperative for children's development that they learn to move in sync with their family unit as well as themselves, not one or the other.

Testing Boundaries in Adolescence

In adolescents, the ability to better develop abstract thinking begins, allowing youth to more understand their actions and consequences. Intimacy develops, as well as the questioning of established values as preteens and teens begins to procure their own thoughts and beliefs based on their personal experiences. This can begin a rebellion against the parent or caregiver that originally provided a moral, religious or ethical structure, causing conflicting beliefs. As physical development begins, periodic feelings of awkwardness can cause adolescents to lash out as they feel their identity slipping and changing. Cliques and "follower" behavior is typical, as the need to feel as though one belongs blossoms. With a negatively influencing peer group, this can lead to poor behavioral choices that the youth is conscious of, but does so anyway due to the pressure to fit in. The feeling of being indestructible and not being able to identify with stories of anecdotal warning often leads to rash decision making. Parents and caregivers who lead their teens to feel their behaviors are "wrong" often find themselves butting heads with their teen, who seeks independence.

Signs of Abuse

Children and teens who suffer from verbal abuse often show extremes in their behaviors. They may be overly physically or socially aggressive or extremely sheepish. They may act unusually adult or very young, throwing temper tantrums and self-harming. Children and teens who exhibit inexplicably advanced sexual knowledge at a young age are considered at risk. Bed-wetting along with recurrent nightmares, as well as a very strong aversion to contact--shying or cowering away from adults--can also be indicative of abuse. None of these mean the child or teen is inherently "bad."

Mental Health Issues

Children, like adults, can experience a mental health crisis. The cause can be environmental (such as lead poisoning), bearing witness to violence or crime, stress or loss of loved ones. Physical injuries, chemical imbalances and/or genetics can also contribute to the child's mental state. The child may exhibit negative behavior due to his or her mental health. As many children "act up," the possibility of the cause being physiological or environmental can be overlooked. Hearing voices or hallucinating (not to be confused with imagination-based play), physically violent outbursts, suicide attempts, harming animals, setting fires, taking dangerous physical risks and persistent sadness and worry in a child should all be reported to a doctor for evaluation.

References

• Dr. William Sears, MD: 9 Developmental Reasons Why Toddlers Can Be Difficult To Discipline
• Child Welfare Information Gateway: Recognizing Child Abuse and Neglect
• U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: Child and Adolescent Mental Health
• Mental Health Association of West Chester: Disruptive Behavior Disorders
• University of Mayland Medican Center: Adolescent development