Symptoms of Spousal Abuse

Spousal abuse occurs when one partner in a marriage behaves abusively toward the other, with husbands most often the aggressors and wives the victims. Women account for 85 percent of the victims of intimate partner violence and men for approximately 15 percent, according to Department of Justice statistics. According to the Domestic Violence Resource Center, one in four women has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime. Learning to identify the signs of spousal abuse can help potential victims escape.

Control

A central component in spousal abuse is control. If a spouse is controlling and demands to know every detail of his partner's whereabouts at all times of the day and night, this is a red flag. The spouse may also be controlling about where his partner goes, and not even want his partner to leave the house or go to work. The controlling spouse often exhibits signs of jealousy, and may try to isolate the partner from family and friends.

Intimidation

Another common sign of spousal abuse is anger and intimidating behavior. If your spouse threatens to hurt you, your children or your pets, or if your spouse actually carries through and physically hurts you or your family, this is domestic abuse. Abusive spouses may also be mentally abusive by causing their partners to feel terror by means of threats of violence. They may demand that their partners ask permission to leave the house, use family funds, or even speak. The abusive spouses may be economically abusive as well by withholding money and controlling all finances.

Verbal Abuse

Aggressive spouses also often belittle and make fun of their spouses. Abuse can be mental, and abusive spouses may embarrass their partners in public by mocking them or criticizing them loudly. Abusive spouses tend to blame others for their problems, and often take out their frustrations on their partners, calling them names and pointing out perceived flaws. They usually have low impulse control and suffer from extreme mood swings, though these may be more common at home and stay hidden in public.

History of Instability

In domestic violence cases, the perpetrators have often experienced abuse in their childhood or adolescence. Likewise, the victims of domestic violence often have experienced abuse growing up themselves. The aggressive spouses may also have a history of mental disorders such as mood disorders (depression or bipolar disorder), and are often mentally unstable, showing an inability to cope with everyday stresses and problems in a healthy way.

References

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Signs of abuse
• Domestic Violence Resource Center: Domestic violence statistics

Resources

• National Domestic Violence Hotline
• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
• YWCA: Find help