Office Funeral Etiquette
Funerals are difficult on everyone. You're not always sure what to say and how to act, especially when you might not have been close to the deceased. When a co-worker or someone close to a co-worker passes on, you might want to express your sorrow for their loss, but you want to follow proper etiquette to remain respectful.
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Sympathy Cards and Flowers
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Whether you attend the funeral or not, a sympathy card can offer the bereaved your condolences. Purchase a blank card or one with a respectful poem or short piece of prose. You can also make your own with fine stationary. But if you didn't know the person well, keep your message short. Use phrases like, "With deepest sympathy," "Please accept my condolences," or "Our thoughts and prayers are with you." Sign your first and last name after the simple line.
It is also appropriate to send sympathy flowers or plants to the funeral home and most churches. If you're unsure, you can call the location before sending flowers.
Attire
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Funeral dress codes are not as strict as they once were, but the more conservative the better. You don't have to wear a black dress with a veil or a black suit, but do wear subdued or darker hues. Avoid wearing t-shirts, shorts, or sneakers. If you plan on bringing your children, the same rules apply. If your company has a strict dress code, adhere to the policy. You will be representing the company with your presence.
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What to Say
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It is perfectly acceptable to approach the family and express your sympathy for their loss. You can share one of your memories of the deceased. It could be related to work or something outside the office, but keep it brief and respectful. Most times it's not appropriate to ask how the person died.
If you knew the deceased but not the family, you should introduce yourself. Tell them your name and how you knew the person who died. If there is a viewing and you feel comfortable, approach the casket where you can offer a prayer or short meditation. You may be escorted by a family member or other designee, or you may be expected to approach on your own.
How Long to Stay
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The length of time is at your discretion. If you have to get back to the office, 15 minutes can be enough to offer your condolences. After visiting with the family and the deceased, it is appropriate to converse with others, such as fellow employees. But keep conversations discreet and respectful. Normally the family or funeral home will set out a register for visitors to sign. Write your first and last name. After the service, the family might ask guests to join them at their home or another location for food. Ask other co-workers if they will be attending and follow their lead.
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References
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