Napkin Etiquette

Follow a few simple rules so your napkin etiquette meets the highest standards.

While etiquette rules may seem old-fashioned and out of date, knowing how to behave properly at a formal dinner means you can feel comfortable no matter who you are dining with. Using a napkin appropriately involves simply following the lead of your host or hostess and being discreet. Follow a few basic rules to avoid a napkin faux-pas.

Setting the Table

If you are the host and are setting the table, iron and starch your cloth napkins so they maintain the shape you fold them into. For a formal dinner, place the napkin on the plate. If the napkin has a monogram, it should face the guest. For an informal dinner, place the napkin to the left of the plate wrapped around the cutlery or decoratively folded in a wine glass. If you are using a napkin ring, the pointy end of the napkin should face the guest.

Before Dinner

Once you are seated at the table, leave your napkin where it is until everyone is seated. Once the hostess removes her napkin and places it in her lap, you may do the same. Unfold it under the table, leaving one edge folded over and facing you, which will allow you to use the napkin during the meal, refold it and return it to your lap without soiling your clothes. Unless you are eating extremely messy food, such as ribs or lobster, do not tuck the napkin into your shirt collar.

During the Meal

Use the napkin to dab your mouth, not wipe it completely. Try to use the same area of the napkin throughout the meal rather than soiling the entire napkin. Obviously, do not blot lipstick or blow your nose with the napkin (in fact, leave the table to do these things). If you need to leave the table during the meal, leave it, still folded, on your chair so you do not soil the chair. If you drop it and can't easily retrieve it, ask for another one.

After the Meal

When your hostess is finished eating, she will place her napkin to the left of her plate. Once she has done so, you should do the same. Fold the napkin loosely; it doesn't have to be perfectly neat, but avoid crumpling it. If the hostess used napkin rings, return the napkin to the ring and place it with the point facing inward.

References

• Etiquette with Miss Janice: Napkin Etiquette
• Professional Image Dress: Napkin Etiquette
• Etiquette Guide: The Art of the Napkin