Ideas for Sibling Preparation

The type of sibling preparation depends on the age of your child.

It is a moment of celebration for parents when a new baby joins the family, but the birth can bring about a different set of feelings for older siblings. All children need and desire attention from their parents. When a new sibling enters the picture, a child's sense of security can be jeopardized. This may result in feelings of anger and jealousy and even the illogical fear of abandonment or being replaced by the new baby. Many of the problems that may arise can be easily diffused by preparing your child for the new addition.

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Toddler
- Once you have told your toddler that you're expecting a baby, he probably won't fully understand the concept until the birth. Biologist Jean Piaget theorized that a child's thinking doesn't begin to "take off" until around 18 months, so gentle reminders and hints work well at this age. Sit down with your child and show him pictures of himself as a newborn. This can help him learn what a newborn looks like and how babies grow. Allow your child to help organize the nursery. He can unwrap presents and help put away toys and clothes that belong to the new baby.
Preschooler
- Preschoolers may have a lot of questions about the new baby.
  
  Children between the ages of 3 and 5 probably have a lot of questions regarding a baby. Talk about pregnancy and babies in a positive light so that your child won't develop feelings of anxiety before the actual birth. If your preschooler isn't used to seeing you hold a baby, visit friends who have newborns and hold the baby often. It's good to spend relaxed time with other families so that your child can get used to the idea that her parents can hold other babies but will still love her and take care of her. Imitation and role-playing are important to 3- and 4-year-olds, so buy a baby doll and allow your child to hold, dress and bathe it.
Older Children
- Children older than 5 have the most questions because of their ability to understand the situation. They want to know what to expect and have time to adjust. Always be realistic about what the baby will be like at first. Explain that babies cry and sleep a lot, and let your child know he won't be able to play with the baby for several months. Involve him as much as possible. Bring him to your doctor's appointments so that he can hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasound pictures. Find out if your local hospital or birthing center offers sibling preparation classes.
Continuity
- Try to stick to routine with your older child.
  
  Regardless of the age of your first child, continuity is extremely important before the birth of a new baby. Try to avoid any big changes during this time, such as moving or starting a new day care. Don't pressure your child to wean, complete toilet training or give up security items like pacifiers if she's still using them. Stick to your child's regular routine as much as possible. This will help to ensure that she won't feel "replaced" by her new sibling.