The Effects of Parental Alienation on a 5-Year-Old
Parental alienation is a form of child abuse, specifically emotional abuse. Also known as hostile aggressive parenting, it damages the 5-year old child's emotional and mental well-being as one parent pits him against the other. Parental alienation often occurs if parents are divorced or separated and in marriages with severe conflicts. According to Ludwig F Lowenstein, Ph.D., children in these situations are brainwashed into hating, fearing or avoiding the alienated family member who becomes the enemy to the child. The child believes that parent is responsible for all family problems as the parent carrying out the alienation continues to feed the child false beliefs about his other parent.
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Loss of Alienated Parent
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Even if the child remains in contact with the alienated parent, the emotional effects can be devastating for a 5-year-old. The child may be going off to school for the first time at this age, compounding her separation and loss issues. As the child listens to the lies from the alienating parent, she may become disrespectful toward her alienated parent, refusing to talk to him or members of his family. This can lead to the loss of communication with grandparents, aunts and uncles as well. Young children may become confused as to how they are supposed to feel towards their parents. A 5-year-old generally wants to please her parents. Her chance for healthy relationships quickly deteriorates as she is programmed what to think and feel rather than learning about who she is as she grows.
Lying
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Young children mimic parents. A 5-year-old child learns how to make friends and develop relationships by watching his parents. In cases of parental alienation, the alienated parent may call to talk to his son, only to hear his mother tell his father "he is not here." or "he doesn't want to talk to you." The child won't speak up because he has been programmed to love and support his mother at all costs. Children who develop Parental Alienation Syndrome often will lie over and over to the alienated parent. They become masters of deception and may develop psychopathic behavior as a result. This impedes their ability to fit in with society.
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Psychological Effects
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From his research on PAS, Lowenstein found victims of parental alienation may develop obsessive compulsive behaviors to give themselves a sense of security as the young child often feels her world is spinning out of control. A 5-year-old who was completely dry throughout the night, may begin to suffer from bed-wetting and soiling as the stress and frustrations of the situations become too heavy for her to carry. Typical 5-year-old sleep problems, such as nightmares or a fear of the dark, may be further compounded due to the ongoing pressure from the programming parent and the underlying guilt, worry and stress from having to betray the alienated parent.
School and Peers
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Five-year-old victims of parental alienation are often angry and suffer a loss of impulse control. They may develop fears and phobias which affect their school performance. Victims can have trouble separating from the programming parent as they fear that parent may die, leaving them with the "evil" parent. They have also been programmed to believe the alienated parent may do negative things to them, increasing their fears of that parent. The 5-year-old who once enjoyed school and learning may develop academic problems and become disruptive in class. These children may display aggressive or withdrawn behavior, decreasing their chances of healthy peer relations.
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References
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