Tips For Empathy
Empathy is an important human emotion that influences behavior. When you have empathy for another person, you regard, understand and respect another's point of view and feelings. Empathy is considered a key element in emotional intelligence. Empathy is something that parents model and teach their children either directly or indirectly.
Other People Are Reading
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Listening
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One way to show empathy is through careful listening. Stop talking and truly listen to the other person. Don't be distracted with thoughts of what you want to say next or other minutia, but be fully engaged in what the person is saying. Maintain eye contact, keep yourself still and resist the urge to fidget. Don't agree just to agree, but acknowledge that you have heard what the person said. Avoid completing someone's sentences for him.
Understanding Point of View
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To show empathy for another, it's vital to try to understand the other person's thoughts and opinions. It's not enough to know a person is sad or mad. It's important to figure out why to demonstrate empathy. For instance, if someone is sad that her dog has disappeared, you might react in one way. If you realize that this is the dog the person brought home from the shelter right after her marriage dissolved, you might realize that the dog's disappearance upset her in ways that involved the loss of companionship going back to her divorce. Your reactions should be different in realizing that this is not the mere loss of an animal.
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Sincerity
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If you listen closely and try to understand the person's point of view, you might know what it is that the person needs to hear. However, you can't just say empty words that you don't actually mean simply to show empathy. Sincerity is an important aspect of empathy. To do this, you must acknowledge your own feelings, if only in your mind. People can usually tell easily when a person is mouthing empty sentiment, and the effect is the opposite of comforting.
Showing Self-Control
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Another element of empathy is having self-control. For instance, you might want to grab that last hot-selling toy off the shelf if you are a kid, but if the other child reaching for it perhaps needs or wants it more, you might allow the other kid to have it. Maybe you have had a terrible day and the last thing you want to do is listen to your spouse's blow by blow of his terrible day. However, showing empathy in this case means taking a few minutes to listen even though you want to explode and vent your own rage. Self-control is tricky and typically not easy, but to be empathetic you often must exercise restraint.
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