Funny Camping Jokes & Tips

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No camping trip is complete without the evening campfire. Prepare for it with camping jokes and tips to keep your party in stitches in between burning marshmallows and munching on s'mores. Any group of like-minded people co-authors its own brand of humor based on common experiences, mishaps and misunderstandings, and campers are no exception. When your trip doesn't go according to plan and people are tired and out of sorts, a little laughter can lift everyone's spirit and morale for the next day's adventure.

Surviving Bear Attacks

  • Those who eat a hot breakfast in camp are 90% more likely to survive a bear attack. (Based on completely made up statistics)

Natural Consequences

  • When you need to stoke your fire at 2:00 am and need kindling, ask the late night serenading teenager for his guitar.

Payback

  • When you need to satisfy your urge for revenge on the bear who stole your food, find his favorite tree stump, hack it apart and enjoy your feast of ants.

How to Ensure Privacy

  • If you value your privacy in the outdoors, place a tuba in full view of passers-by and watch the vacancy rate for any campsite nearby skyrocket.

Bill and Ted's Camping Adventure

  • Bill and Ted were camping. They set up their tent and fell asleep after a most triumphant jam session.

    In the wee hours, Bill wakes his excellent friend and says, "Hey dude, check out the sky."

    Ted replies sleepily, "Dude, stars are most triumphant but can we hold this party when the lights come on?"

    "Yeah -- but dude, what does this bogus sight mean?" asked Bill.

    Ted contemplated, then said, "I dunno, dude. Should pick up that cooking dude, Leo, if you want to know about stars.

    Bill looked quizzical, "Who, dude?"

    Ted shakes his head, "You know, dude. Galley Leo, the dude that those bodacious holy dudes pitched out because he couldn't pass their science test."

    Both boys chime in, "That's us, dude -- sort of! Excellent!"

    Bill returns to his point, "But dude, look up there. What do you see?"

    Ted squints at the star field, "Dude, do you think there are any royal lovely babes on those stars? Maybe Rufus can give us their number." He looks at Bill shaking his head in consternation, "What's the matter, dude?"

    Bill sighs and turns to Ted, "Dude! A most un-excellent thief has stolen our tent!"

    Ted looks up in surprise, "Bogus!"

    Bill crawls back into his sleeping bag, "Shut up Ted."

Vision Screening

  • Did you know there was an eye test for summer camp? Anyone who doesn't see the skunk gets sent home immediately.

How to Cook a Potato

  • Wrap the potato in tinfoil. Set the potato on top of hot coals. Bake for one hour if you are making dinner or three hours if you need a hockey puck.

Emergency Survival

  • The elastic band of your underwear makes an excellent slingshot for shooting small game when you find yourself in need of emergency wilderness survival skills.

Choosing Gear

  • Look for backpacks associated with national parks or mountain ranges. The ones named for landfills are on the clearance rack for a good reason.

Spontaneous Invention

  • Bob woke up in his sleeping bag one night to find that a porcupine had crawled in with him. In the ensuing panic, acupuncture was spontaneously invented.

References

  • Photo Credit Thinkstock/Comstock/Getty Images
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