Ways to Help Stepchildren to Get Along
Blended families are increasing in the United States. While a second marriage can be wonderful, getting stepchildren to get along can also be a challenge. Stepchildren, unlike their parents, did not choose the relationship. Therefore they may feel resentful about being forced into a family. Patience, understanding and empathy are vital tools for helping stepchildren to get along with one another.
Other People Are Reading
-
Don't Rush It
-
While parents may be eager to get married, rushing into a blended family can prove disastrous. Allow the children time to get to know one another. Addressing concerns before you move in together can make it easier to adjust to life in a stepfamily.
Talk About Discipline and Parenting Philosophy
-
If you and your spouse agree about parenting philosophies and discipline, the transition will go much more smoothly. You should spend a substantial amount of time talking about how to manage your blended family before you get married. It is important that each biological parent be the primary disciplinarian for his or her children. So, for example, a father would be in charge of disciplining his children and a stepmother would avoid disciplining them unless absolutely necessary.
-
Talk to Your Kids
-
When you're madly in love, it can be difficult to listen to your children complaining about their new family. Nevertheless, it's important to maintain open communication and take their concerns seriously. Your children should always feel that they are your first priority. Listen with empathy and work together on solutions for problems.
Try Family Counseling
-
Many people think that therapy is only for families in crisis. Therapy, however, can be a wonderful tool to help ease the transition to a blended family. It provides a safe space to talk about concerns and therapists can provide workable solutions to family conflict. Consider going to a few sessions of therapy as a family in the weeks following your marriage.
Do Fun Things Together
-
A family is made, not born. In order to help your stepchildren feel like they're family, it's important to do family activities together. These activities shouldn't be forced. Rather, ask your kids what they'd like to do and then do those activities as a family. When families have fun together, they feel closer and more comfortable managing conflicts.
-
Resources
- Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty Images
