The Methods of Apologies
Apologizing is the act of saying sorry for an offense committed against another person or group of people. People use several methods for giving apologies. What method a person uses often depends on what he is apologizing for, how ashamed of his actions he is, and the proximity of the person deserving of an apology.
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In Person
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The most meaningful method of apology is to apologize in person. This method entails talking to the offended party face to face. However, sometimes this method is impossible, either because the offended party is not nearby or because she does not want to meet in person.
On the Phone
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If a person needs to apologize to someone who is far away and wants the apology to be more personal than a letter, he can apologize over the phone. It is not as personal as apologizing in person, but apologizing over the telephone is often better than not apologizing at all. One problem with this method of apology is that the person being apologized to may hang up or refuse to take the call. If that is the case, there is always the option of leaving a message.
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By Written Message
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There are several methods of apology by written message. You may send a letter, card or email. Remember that an email is not always an appropriate way to apologize. If the offense was serious, an email should only supplement a better apology that is forthcoming. You may also get creative and write an apology in sidewalk chalk, frosting (on a cake or cookie) or on a t-shirt. You can be present at the time the recipient gets the apology or you can distance yourself if you are too nervous.
Through a Third Party
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The most impersonal, but sometimes more convenient, method of apology is through a third party. That means getting another person to do the apologizing on your behalf. Sometimes it is necessary and generally accepted, as in when lawyers speak for their clients. However, for the most part, it is not proper etiquette for an individual to get another person to apologize for her.
With a Gift
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Oftentimes, it seems appropriate to present an apology with a gift. A common example of this is a man bringing his wife flowers when he knows he has done something to hurt her. The flowers are not the apology, but more of a physical representation of the apology. It is something she can keep to remind her of it. Sometimes this is not necessarily a good thing, so it is acceptable to reject gifts that come with an apology.
Publicly
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The public method of apology is typically not for personal and private matters. Generally, businesses, politicians and other public figures issue public apologies when they are apologizing to the general public for some indiscretion or mistake.
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