Signs of a Rude Person
Merriam Webster's dictionary defines the word "rude" as behavior that is "lacking in social refinement" and "indifferent to good form," which may suggest intentional discourtesy. There are signs within the behavior of the rude person that tells you if you need to be concerned for your own safety. You most likely forgive the absentminded error or the unconscious bump, but it is the intentional discourtesy that holds the most danger to our well-being.
Other People Are Reading
-
Determine Seriousness of Offense
-
You have to make the immediate decision whether the person's rude behavior will lead to something more serious. Determine if the rudeness was directed at you personally or did you just happen to be in the line of fire. Is the person inside the car yelling at you or traffic in general. Establish the degree of rudeness. An angry look directed at you through someone's windshield isn't worth dealing with, but a gun extending from the side window of a car requires your attention.
Thoughtless Behavior
-
Thoughtless or absent-minded behavior can be identified by the actions and mood of the person who exhibits the behavior. If they are honestly apologetic or surprised, then the rudeness can be handled by forgiving them or passing it off as unimportant.
-
Signs that the Behavior was Mean and Intentional
-
Does the rude person make eye contact with you before of after the rude act? What was their tone of voice? Do they use unacceptable words? Are they physically aggressive? The best indicator of the level of seriousness in a rude act comes from within. Do we feel threatened? Even if their words are kind and they're not thumping us on the chest; if we feel like we're in danger of getting a punch on the nose or the words had a similar effect, the behavior was probably mean and intentional.
Handling Seriously Rude Behavior
-
We need to separate ourselves from the person acting out. If possible, we should go somewhere else. If we can't move, we need to protect ourselves by getting help from bystanders or authorities. Correcting their behavior, unless they're less than five years old and related to us, may not work and often plays into their hands. P.M. Forni, a behavior specialist with John Hopkins University, suggests, in his book "The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude," that we use our own civility as a weapon against bad behavior. He states that angry confrontations are ineffective because the confrontation increases the amount of emotion in the interaction. He says we should tell the person that their behavior has hurt us and that their behavior isn't what decent people do.
-
References
- Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty Images
