Ideas for Including Stepchildren in a Wedding
The idea of adding a stepparent to a child's world can be unsettling. Make a smooth transition into a blended family by making the wedding celebration a family affair. Include your children or your future spouse's children in the planning and actual ceremony. You big day is not only about joining lives with your new partner, but combining families as well.
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Involve your future stepchildren in your plans to marry from the very moment of engagement. Have the children present for the proposal or let the children know about it ahead of time. If you wish to ask for your significant other's hand in marriage privately, make the children the first people to which you announce the engagement. Be sensitive to the emotions the children may be experiencing. Focus on the fact that it is not just about you as a couple being joined together, but both families.
Make the Plans
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Ask the children to play an active role in the wedding planning. Have the children assist you in selecting wedding colors, the wedding theme, flowers, invitations or reception location. The bride can have any female children help pick out a wedding dress or attend the dress fittings. You can use the children's extra set of hands when it comes to invitation assembly or creating centerpieces. Let the children's opinions be known and take into consideration all ideas.
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Write Family Vows
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Include the joining of families in the wedding ceremony vows. First exchange your vows and rings to each other and then have your children join you. You will then make a promise to love, honor and cherish your new stepchildren as your own. The wording is up to you, but it can be along the same lines of traditional vows. Family vows may sounds something like, "I promise to love, nurture and support (name of child/children) all the days of my life." You can personalize the family vows by including some specific interests of the children. For example, if one child is an avid football player, you can promise to attend his games or practice with him in the yard.
Give Out Specific Roles
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Have the children play a special role during the wedding ceremony. Younger children can take on the responsibilities of ring bearer, flower girl or junior bridesmaid. Older children can be best man, maid of honor, groomsman, usher, reader or bridesmaid. Plan to have your future stepchildren wear special wedding attire such as a tuxedo or dress that matches the wedding theme or colors. Include each child's name, relation to you and role in the wedding ceremony pamphlet as well. The point is to make the stepchildren feel special and happy about the new family.
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References
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