When Elderly Parents Will Not Allow People to Help Them
Your mom and dad are getting on in years and need more help than they did before. The problem is, they aren't always receptive to that help, and it's hurting them. Many senior citizens don't realize that they're putting themselves -- and often others -- at risk when they attempt to accomplish tasks they once did with ease but now present a burden to them. Take steps now in getting your elderly parents to accept help, and it will make life easier for everyone.
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Medications
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Many elderly parents must take a variety of medications to maintain their health. The number and type of these can be confusing -- especially if the pills look alike. Not taking the required dosages of their medications can present serious health risks. Ask your parents for permission to come over once a week (or have a friend or neighbor do so) and set up these medications. Explain to your parents that you know what a burden it can be to keep all those pills straight, and you want to relieve them of that chore.
Driving
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Driving is another task that many elderly parents are not well-suited for due to declines in vision, reflexes and dexterity. They may be putting themselves and others at risk by getting behind the wheel of a car. Still, many seniors are reluctant to give up driving, as they see it as a last vestige of their independence. If you think your parents shouldn't be driving any longer, arrange for them to get rides via friends, neighbors or even a bus service for seniors. Explain that it's for their own safety as well as the safety of others.
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Housekeeping
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If you've ever visited your parents and their house is dirty, it may be because they are not able to perform chores as well as they once did. They may be physically unable to bend over to clean the floor, for example, or reach up to clean cabinets or put things away. Since you don't want your folks living in an unsanitary environment, hire a cleaning service once every few weeks, or offer to do chores for them. Present this as a gift to allow them time to enjoy their retirement years, rather than a handout.
Guardianship
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In a worst-case scenario, elderly parents will not allow people to help them with anything, but are clearly not capable of caring for themselves. If your parents have all of their mental capacities but are the stubborn types, there may be little you can do to convince them to accept help. However, if you think the resistance is due to a decline in cognitive functioning (such as with a disease like Alzheimer's), speak to an attorney specializing in elder care. He or she may advise you to seek legal guardianship of your parent -- if granted, you'd be put in charge of your parents' care, regardless of whether they want to accept the help.
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References
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