Cons of Domestic Adoption

Mothers of newborns may decide not to give up the baby to its adoptive parents.

Adopting a child is a viable option for couples or individuals who can't or don't want to conceive a biological child. Adopted children may be from the parents' own country or from abroad. Domestic adoption makes the process easier for parents who want to adopt newborns or have contact with the child's birth parents. It has a few downsides, however. Learning the potential problems with domestic adoption can help you decide whether it's the right choice for you and your family.

Laws Vary from State to State

Adoption laws vary significantly from state to state, and change frequently. Prospective parents must know the legal requirements for adoption in their state and the state of the birth mother, if applicable. Most couples or individuals who seek to be adoptive parents will need the assistance of either a lawyer or an adoption agency to ensure the adoption is performed correctly. International adoptions also include legal concerns. However, due to the Hague Convention, international adoption regulations may be more consistent than U.S. domestic adoption regulations, which can vary significantly from state to state.

Birth Parent May Change Her Mind

Domestic adoptions of newborns often put parents at the mercy of the birth mother, who can choose to keep her child at the last minute. Parents must also meet the birth mother's selection criteria before adopting. In some cases, when adoptive parents have arranged to adopt a newborn, the baby does not survive birth. A last minute change of mind or conditions could cost prospective parents significant amounts of money in legal and medical fees, but leave them without a child to adopt. According to "The Adoptive Families 2010 Adoption Guide" by Lois Gilman and Susan Freivalds, most pregnant women who change their mind about relinquishing a baby make the decision before the baby is born.

You May Have to Wait Longer for a Newborn

Domestic adoptions, particularly those of newborns, can take a long time -- as much as a year or longer. Parents who want to adopt newborns may also need to wait a long time for their prospective babies to become available, since younger children are usually in higher demand than older ones. According to Gilman and Freivalds, adopting "waiting children" from the foster care system can allow parents to bypass this downside of domestic adoption, but does not guarantee a speedy process.

Agency Criteria May Be Restrictive

Many domestic adoption agencies have restrictive criteria for adoptive parents. They may require parents to be married for a certain amount of time, have a certain income, or be between the ages of 25 and 40. Some agencies do not permit gay couples to adopt, and some require that prospective parents be unable to bear children. Restrictive conditions also apply to some international agencies, but according to "Adoptive Families" magazine, many countries have more lenient age or marriage requirements.

References

• Child Welfare Information Gateway: Adoption: Where Do I Start?
• U.S. Department of State: Hague Convention Overview
• The Adoption Guide: Adoption Options
• Adopting.org: Risk in Domestic Infant Adoption
• United States Central Authority for Intercountry Adoption: A Guide for Prospective Parents
• Adoptive Families Magazine: International Adoption Country Overview