Things to Know About Divorce
Divorce, defined as the legal dissolution of a marriage, is a stressful life event. It has an impact on children, finances and home life. Nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. While individuals respond differently to divorce, it usually takes up to two years for a person to adjust to life after divorce.
Other People Are Reading
-
Loss
-
Marriage is a significant relationship. When a couple divorces, the loss of love and security can cause emotional distress and confusion. Individuals respond differently to stressful situations and loss. Fearful of separation, some people cling to the hope of saving the marriage. The sense of loss experienced during a divorce may leave a person feeling insecure. The physical loss of possessions combined with the loss of a shared future can overwhelm most anyone caught in a divorce. Depression and anger are natural reactions to the process of divorce.
Identity
-
With divorce comes a change in an individual's role. No longer a wife or a husband, this directly affects a person's identity and sense of self. It's natural after a divorce for people to start questioning who they are and what they want to do with their lives. The loss of a partner leads to rethinking many aspects of a person's life. Instead of looking at this as a negative experience, view it as an opportunity to contemplate life's true meaning, to reevaluate life and to start afresh. Extremely daunting, this process is not without its challenges.
-
Adjustment
-
Every person responds differently to change and to a crisis. For a majority of people, adapting to the changes introduced by divorce takes from two to three years. The adjustment process involves three steps. The first step includes accepting that there is no way the marriage can be saved and realizing that the divorce is final. Making peace with your former partner is part of this process and taking responsibility for your role in the breakup is important. The second step is learning to feel capable as both a single person and parent. The final step is creating goals for the future, which signify that you are moving on with your new life.
Coping
-
Divorce can be very painful for children, but there are ways to minimize the stress. Give children the opportunity to express how they feel about the situation. Let them know that it's all right to be angry, sad and confused. Children often blame themselves or imagine that they're somehow responsible for the divorce. Be sure that both parents tell them that it's not their fault.
-
References
- Photo Credit Jeffrey Hamilton/Digital Vision/Getty Images
