What Are Some Protective Factors Against Dating Violence?
Dating can be scary and not just because you're wondering if he or she is "the one." First dates and blind dates can provide plenty of opportunity for rapists and other criminals. That doesn't mean you should avoid dating, but there are important precautions that everyone should take to avoid becoming a victim of violence.
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Preparing to Date
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Before you go out on your first date with someone new, there are things you can do to protect against violence. Make sure a friend knows where you're going and who you'll be with. If you're very nervous, you could also ask a friend to call you during the date or arrange for a couple of friends to join you during the evening. You could even ask some friends to sit discreetly at a nearby table. Having these arrangements in place will help you relax on your date and you'll have more fun if you feel safe.
First and Blind Dates -- Venue and Transport
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First and blind dates can be the most nerve-wracking. You don't yet know what your date is like and if you met online rather than through work or friends, you may have even less information to go on. Don't worry about offending your date by taking sensible precautions such as arranging to meet in a public and busy place like a bar or cafe. You should also make sure you're not relying on your date for a lift home, although sharing a cab may be acceptable. If your home is the first drop-off point, think about whether you feel safe letting your date see where you live. If not, get a separate cab.
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First and Blind Dates -- Drinks and Drugs
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During the course of the date, keep an eye on your drinks and don't leave them unattended. You should also avoid getting drunk. Not only does this create a bad impression on your date, it will also make you more vulnerable to attack and your decision-making will be adversely affected. If you smoke, use your own cigarettes as even cigarettes can be spiked with date-rape drugs.
Ongoing Relationships
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It's wise to continue taking precautions after the first date until you feel you know and trust your partner well. If violence occurs at any stage of the relationship, inform the police and keep safe by avoiding being alone with the violent party. If the violence occurs after you have moved in together, then you should stay with family or friends until you can arrange more permanent accommodation without your aggressive partner.
Earning Trust
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You don't have to put up with violence, so take care of yourself and exercise caution when dating. Trust has to be earned and develop naturally over time, so your date should understand why you want to keep a close eye on your drink and take your own cab home. Don't feel pressured into doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or scared, and make your personal safety a priority when dating.
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