Communication in Family Conflicts
Many families deal with conflict. Although family members were raised similarly, it doesn't mean they all have the same values, morals and beliefs. Many people believe that family members should all have the same views because they were all taught the same ones. However, because people have different experiences, they alter and create new belief systems, which is when family conflict occurs. Understanding how to handle these conflicts with effective communication can pacify many of these problems.
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Agree to Disagree
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Everyone is different, even if they're in the same family. Remind yourself the next time you hear a family member say something insulting. Often times, the person doesn't mean to offend you, but does by voicing an opinion. Everyone's entitled to their own views. That doesn't mean you must believe the same. Accept what the person says and don't challenge it. Simply stating you don't agree and listing some reasons is sufficient. If the person tries to attack you verbally over your contradictory opinion, excuse yourself and move away. If you can't physically distance yourself from him, end the topic of conversation by pointing out that you have differing views and then saying, "Let's agree to disagree." Follow that up with something you two share in common.
Confronting a Family Member
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If a family member upsets you, confront her in a way that won't start a battle. When you approach her, ask if she's able to talk for a few minutes. You don't want her to be in a rush, because she won't be listening to you.
When you start expressing your thoughts, don't make it a verbal attack. Don't speak as though you're pointing your finger at her as if you're scolding her. Focus on "I" statements, the DRB Alternatives website suggests. For example, "I felt betrayed when I heard that someone knew my secret" or "I have some different views on raising children. I would rather raise my children in this way."
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Active Listening
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In conflict, people usually stop listening and simply react. When you enter a conflict with family, practice stress management and take a step back. Listen to everything he' saying without trying to think of a response. If it helps, repeat what he's saying to you. For example, if he says, "You're so crazy, why would you ever think that he should win the election?" you could say, "You think I am crazy because I think he should win the election?" This usually helps the person get his feelings out and helps you keep yours in until you can form the best response to the issue.
Bring Up Issues as They Arise
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Family conflicts happen when people don't talk about what bothers them when the situation happens. People accumulate resentment as issues arise and nothing is done about them. Instead of waiting until you have a list of issues to bring up to a family member, communicate concerns as they happen. This will make family conflicts much easier to deal with because one small issue is quicker to resolve than a laundry list of problems.
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