What Are the Typical Stages That a Married Couple Go Through As They Go to Marriage Counseling?
Couples in marriage counseling will go through several phases of emotions and work before reaching a successful end point. In 2000, more than 21,000 marriage and family therapists were registered nationwide to help couples deal with marital issues. According to the Marriage and Family Counseling Directory, 75 percent of couples who attended counseling reported feeling better about their marriage, with 65 percent reporting significant improvement in their relationship. Marriage counseling may not save your marriage, but it has been shown that couples who go to counseling usually do not report feeling worse after the sessions have concluded.
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Anger/Resentment
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In the beginning of the counseling process, many couples feel anger or resentment towards one another. This is usually the basis for seeking counseling in the first place. The anger and resentment may come from one partner's lack of respect or communication, an affair or financial and legal problems. Tensions about how to raise children or integrating a step-family can also create negative emotions.
Openness/Discussion of Issues
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Throughout the counseling process, each partner tends to open up about his or her feelings regarding the situation. This can happen over several sessions, taking weeks or months. Each partner brings his or her concerns about the issue to the forefront, with the therapist acting as a mediator and helping facilitate understanding of what each partner is saying. The therapist will help each partner express how he or she would like to see the issue resolved, in addition to addressing emotions and underlying issues.
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Acceptance
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Before a couple can successfully complete marriage counseling, each much accept the other for who they are, both positive and negative. Couples must also accept the reality of the issue which brought them to counseling and be willing to work on a solution together. Counseling can not continue with a positive outcome if acceptance is not reached.
Compromise
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Compromising and reaching a workable solution is a key component to marriage counseling. During this phase, each couple reiterates what is important to him and her in regards to a successful relationship. With the help of the therapist, each partner states what is important to him or her, and the therapist will help the married couple reach a point of agreement that satisfies both. The solution will likely not be exactly what either partner wanted, but rather a blended solution where each partner gets some of what they need.
Renewed Relationship
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Upon the completion of marriage counseling, the couple should feel a renewed sense of closeness with their partner. Knowing each partner has expressed him or herself and was heard, as well as having a new plan of action or outlook on life can bring the relationship to a new, positive and healthy level. This renewed closeness can help facilitate growth of love and respect toward each other.
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