Pros & Cons of Grandparents Being Daycare Providers
While cost is one of the most obvious benefits of choosing grandparents as daycare providers, there are even more important factors to consider when making this choice. Grandparents can be excellent daycare providers, though differences in environment and discipline affect a child's development in ways that make it worth reviewing your options first.
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Close Relationships
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Every hour your child spends with her grandparents is a chance for a new memory. Kids only have so much time to spend with their grandparents, and they will develop closer relationships the more they are together. Having grandparents watch your child also gives her more stable, meaningful and long-lasting relationships than they may have with paid day care providers. Kids can hear stories about how life was when their grandparents were younger and have a connection to history. The joy it will bring your parents to engage with their grandchildren and take on a useful role in their lives is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.
Differences in Generational Values
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Grandparents may be more lax or more strict in what they allow your children to watch, eat and do. Earlier generations may have different ideas about gender, treating girls and boys differently in ways that restrict their identities to more traditional gender roles. They may reject modern media or have different conceptions of religious and moral values. Their ideas could differ greatly from those you are trying to teach your child, and children can easily become confused by the mixed messages they receive within the family. Generational values include ways in which children are disciplined. Talk to your parents about spanking or other discipline issues. Make sure your kids understand why the rules are different when they go to their grandparents' house, so their sense of right and wrong is not compromised.
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Physical and Mental Capacities
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If your child has a condition that requires special care, there are day care centers that specialize in children with ADHD or other disabilities. At the same time, you want to feel confident that your day care provider has the mental and physical capacity to care for your children. Older adults have less energy to keep up with kids, and in this way some younger people may be able to better engage children in sports or other physical activities. And of course, if your parents have shown symptoms of Alzheimer's or another debilitating condition, it may not be safe for them to work as caretakers.
Exposure to Other Children
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One of the things children may lack when they spend the day at their grandparents' house is interaction with other children. In a day care center, your child will have more opportunities to play with other children and develop peer social skills. The interaction with adults outside the family also brings a fresh perspective. Though kids may be more comfortable with family, the more isolated they are, the less opportunity they will have to make friends and develop social skills such as conflict negotiation or teamwork.
Trust
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Not everyone has a close or healthy relationship to their parents. If you were abused or neglected as a child, it is completely understandable that you would not want to entrust your child's care to your parents. If you feel it would be a detriment to your child's well being, you have every right to refuse contact between your children and his grandparents.
However, if you feel you can trust your parents to provide your child with a safe and nurturing environment, they may serve as better caretakers than some paid professionals. Adolescents who babysit are likely not as well-equipped or knowledgeable about parenting as grandparents. Whatever you decide, it is helpful to do research first and make sure you find a day care provider that you and your child can trust.
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