Check List for the Mother of the Groom

A groom getting ready on his wedding day.

While every wedding is different, as the mother of the groom, your presence and participation will make your son's wedding day complete. How much you are involved in the planning and events usually depends on the needs of the couple. Tailor your involvement in their wedding, before, during and afterwards, for a memorable family event everyone will cherish. Your son's wedding will be one of the happiest days of his life. With a little preparation and forethought, you can make it one of yours, as well.

Before the Wedding

Traditionally, the mother of the groom will reach out to the bride's parents after the happy couple announces their engagement. Other pre-wedding mother of the groom duties include providing a list of people you would like to have attend with addresses, helping the couple plan or pay for the rehearsal dinner, and simply lending a knowledgeable and sympathetic ear. Choosing a dress in a complementary style and color to the wedding party is a must. Check with your future daughter-in-law and have fun shopping for something to wear on the special day.

Day of the Wedding

Arrive on time at the wedding venue to be included in pre-wedding family photos and ensure smooth sailing at the wedding. It may also be appropriate for you to help your son get ready, and check on his bride with a last-minute word of encouragement. Check with the wedding planner if you are being escorted down the aisle so you know when to be ready, and be sure to pick up your corsage. Assist any out-of-town guests you may have invited with directions.

During the Wedding

As the mother of the groom, you may be asked to participate in the ceremony by lighting a unity candle or escorting your son down the aisle. Remember to smile. Be available to dance with your son and assist in the receiving line if the couple plans on having one. Many mothers of the groom are asked to give toasts at the reception. Use this opportunity to congratulate the couple. Don't forget to enjoy the day.

After the Wedding

Once the last piece of cake has been cut and the last dance has wound down, make sure any keepsakes the couple had at the venue are packed up and delivered to the proper location. The mother of the groom may also volunteer to take any gifts home for the couple to pick up at a later time. If the couple is leaving on a honeymoon, you may also be tasked with checking in on their home or pets while they are away. Dry clean your wedding outfit, develop any pictures you took at your son's wedding, and always remember the wonderful day you had seeing your son get married.

References

• Martha Stewart Weddings: Traditional Roles for the Groom's Parents