The Effects of Divorce & Marital Discord
While family arguments are common and sometimes healthy to any relationship, excessive arguments and divorce completely shatter a family's dynamic. When both spouses cannot subtlety or reasonably solve their arguments, magnified psychological and social effects happen. Avoiding divorce and marital discord is wise for several reasons. The main one is that they impact lives beyond that of the two spouses.
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Children and Abandonment
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The primary effect of a divorce is that parents no longer operate as a unit in taking care of the child. Usually, one parent is held mostly in charge of the upbringing of the child after a divorce or separation. In this case, however, the child may grow up lacking any feelings for the parent who did not raise him. In more extreme cases, the in-family fighting may cause family members to be torn completely apart, leaving the child essentially to fend for himself.
Children and Potential Relationships
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Parents typically act as role models for children for better or worse. A child tends to emulate her parent's actions and may treat a partner in the same manner as her parents. Negative reactions are reinforced from parent to child. Children copy negative elements of disputes such as name calling, foul language and physical attacks from their parents and commit the same reactions in their own relationships. The child may deem these reactions as a valid tactic justified by their parents or use these reactions as an outlet for her own family grievances.
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Family Decision Making
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Decision making processes between spouses may be hampered by marital arguments outside of the decision. Logical arguments tend to quickly degrade to emotional outbursts such as finger pointing and emotional reasoning. Spouses may blame each other for past mistakes and events in attempting to reason why their side is correct. This can lead to the spouses completely overruling each other by doing things their own way, even if the problem requires a unified decision on their part.
Outside Involvement
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In particularly heated arguments and overt divorce, family members outside of the immediate family may become involved in the problem. A split in the family may invoke parents of the two spouses to argue among each other. Relatives across both families who were previously close could find themselves bound to their side of the family. An example would be that a spouse, attempting to gain support for child care, may turn to relatives to prove the other spouse's lack of responsibility.
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References
- SUWS of the Carolinas: The Effect of Marital Discord and Divorce on the Development of Behavioral Problems in Children and Adolescents
- "The Complete Divorce Handbook: A Practical Guide"; Brette McWhorter Sember; 2009
- "Impact of Divorce on the Extended Family"; Esther Oshiver Fisher; 1982
- "How Divorce Affects Offspring: A Research Approach"; Michael R. Stevenson; 1996
