Conflict Styles & Gender Differences
Men and women have difference physiological and psychological responses to conflict. Many times, those differences make cross-gender communication difficult. Get an inside peek into how the other half thinks by examining some recent findings concerning gender, conflict resolution and communication. Understanding the gendered nature of these dynamics may come in handy the next time you have a disagreement with a member of the opposite sex.
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What Counts as Conflict?
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According to conflict resolution experts at University of Wisconsin at Madison, "A conflict is more than a mere disagreement - it is a situation in which people perceive a threat (physical, emotional, power, status, etc.) to their well-being." Neuropsychiatrist Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of "The Female Brain," suggests that women sense conflict when their relationships are challenged, whereas men sense conflict when their position in the social or professional hierarchy is threatened.
Physiological Effects of Conflict
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A growing body of evidence supports the hypothesis that men and women respond differently to threatening situations. Men seem to become more physiologically excited by conflict. They experience a sudden increase in testosterone and adrenaline. This hormonal jolt is accompanied by an increase in blood pressure and heart rate. Licensed social worker and family therapist Marlene Lathrop notes, "it may take more intense levels of conflict to create the same level of discomfort in females."
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Verbal Communication
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Women tend to use obliging and accommodating techniques more often than men when resolving conflict. They also demonstrate what researchers call "soothing" behaviors. Soothing behaviors cater to the needs and desires of the other person, sometimes at the expense of one's own happiness. Dr. Brizendine's research and review of the literature presented in her book "The Female Brain" give academic credence to the stereotypical images of the verbose woman and the withdrawn man. It's true that women tend to desire to talk through problems more than men. However, this generalization doesn't hold across the board. Dozens of other factors, including age, status, and the context of each specific communication, also influence a person's response to conflict.
The Importance of Conflict Resolution
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Summarizing his findings on gender and conflict in a November 2008 report in the "Negotiation Journal," a Harvard University Law School publication, Cary Silverstein noted that men and women have an equal ability and desire to meet the needs of both parties in a conflict. Withdrawal from conflict is a common method men use in order to diminish conflict. Both men and women seek to compromise with the other party, though men tend to attach a sense of competition to conflict resolution more than women.
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References
- BizTimes.com: Women Deal with Conflict Differently than Men; Cary Silverstein; November 2008
- MareleneLathrop.org: Communication Styles: Understanding the Differences between Men and Women; Marlene Lathrope
- University of Wisconsin at Madison: About Conflict
- "The Female Brain"; Louann Brizendine; 2006
- Academia.edu: Louann Brizendine
- BizTimes.com: Fresh Ideas for Growing Companies
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