Wedding Etiquette for the Duties of the Best Man
A best man is more than someone to stand by the groom; he's also in charge of helping make sure a wedding runs smoothly. From hosting the bachelor party to giving a toast at the reception, there are a few duties every best man should be prepared for. Knowing the proper etiquette for these tasks will make him more comfortable, while also keeping the groom as stress-free as possible.
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Plan the Bachelor Party
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One of the first duties a best man will have to fulfill is the bachelor party. Traditionally, this is a guys-only night out to celebrate the last moments of the groom being single. While it may be all about fun and games, don't lose track of your duties, including helping to invite guests, planning what to eat and were you'll go, as well as making sure everyone is safe throughout the night. Before planning any of this, check with the groom (and maybe the bride, too) to see what he had in mind for his bachelor party. Remember, even though you're planning it, it's still a party just for the groom and should reflect his tastes and style.
Usher Guests
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At many weddings, the groomsmen will be asked to usher guests to their seats before the ceremony. The bride and groom should let you know if this is one of your duties, and how they'd like guests seated. Traditionally, at Christian ceremonies, the bride's guests are seated on the left, and the groom's on the right. This is reversed at Jewish weddings. When a couple approaches you, take the woman's arm and walk her to a seat on her appropriate side. The Knot reminds groomsmen to always seat the oldest women first.
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Hold the Rings
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During the ceremony, it's a best man's duty to hold the couple's rings before the ring exchange. Most importantly, make sure they're placed in a secure spot. If you're putting them in your pocket, double-check it doesn't have any holes. Most couples will hold a rehearsal before the actual ceremony. This is a good time to practice taking the rings out and handing them to the officiant with grace. During the actual ceremony, remember your cues so you don't miss a beat.
Give a Toast
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As the best man, you'll probably be asked to give a toast during the wedding reception to commemorate the occasion and share some thoughts and stories about the groom and bride. According to The Best Man Speech's website, the toast should be fewer than 1,000 words and under seven minutes long. You can include one anecdote about the groom or couple; but remember that not everyone knows each other, so keep the stories short and to the point. Don't be afraid to use humor, but make sure every dig at the groom is outnumbered by optimistic remarks. When in doubt, compliment the bride.
Help Where Needed
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As the best man, your duty above all else is to help the wedding run smoothly and keep the groom calm and happy. This includes at the wedding as well as the other festivities, like the rehearsal dinner and bachelor party. People might not always ask you for assistance, so be on the lookout for where you're needed. For example, if the wrong dish is being served to guests, volunteer to fix the problem without worrying the groom. Help the wedding's MC learn the pronunciation of names. At the end of the wedding, help load gifts into the car and ensure nothing was left behind.
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