Groomsmen's Duties

A groomsman has specific duties to fulfill at a wedding.

Being a groomsman in a friend or family member's wedding is considered an honor. It is a way for the groom to say that you are an important person in his life and to honor you in front of the other wedding guests. Still, being a groomsmen requires more than showing up. You will have responsibilities before and during the wedding.

Tuxedos

While the groom will choose the style and color of tuxedo, you are responsible to pay for your own tuxedo. The groom can offer to pay but he is not being rude if he expects you to cover the cost. However, keep in mind that if the cost is going to be too much, it is OK to decline being a groomsman. Just be sure to thank the groom but let him know its not financially feasible for you.

Bachelor Party

Traditionally, the best man is the primary person in charge of the bachelor party but groomsmen need to help out. Remember you will need a location, food, drinks, games and plenty of good-natured jokes.

Usher

Some weddings have additional ushers while others ask the groomsmen to take on this duty. Remember that in a Christian ceremony, the bride's side is to the left and the groom's side on the right. This switches for a Jewish wedding. Always take the arm of a woman to seat her, and if there are multiple guests at once, seat the oldest woman first.

Getaway Car

As with the bachelor party, it is your duty to plan with the best man how to decorate the bride and groom's honeymoon car. Be sure to consider the bride's dress and don't use anything to decorate that could stain the dress. She will come after you.

Presents

You are still responsible to give the bride and groom a wedding gift. If you need ideas, look at the wedding registry or pitch in with the other groomsmen for one big gift. While it should be a gift the couple can use together, it is OK for the gift to be geared toward the groom. An example might be barbecue supplies or camping gear.

Attendance

Any official coed wedding event requires your attendance. If you are out of town, this gives you a free pass out of some events but you should try to plan a few extra days around the wedding. These events include the engagement party, rehearsal dinner and a couples of shower (if applicable).

Toasts

Technically, only the best man is required to give a toast but it is a good idea to check with the bride and groom to find out if they would like other wedding party members to share a toast as well.

Talk to the Bride

If you are ever in doubt or unsure of your duties, ask the bride. You can ask the groom but he may not know exactly what the bride was hoping for. By going above and beyond, you can give the happy couple the wedding of their dreams.

References

• The Knot: Groomsmen: Their Duties in Detail
• "Brides": Groomsmen Guide