Dating in Different Countries

Dating that takes place outside of America is often more structured and less casual than inside the U.S.

Dating that takes place outside of the United States is often considerably different than what Americans are accustomed to. Although not all foreign cultures are the same, many are quite similar on some levels. The dynamics of non-Western dating is best understood by considering the characteristics that most foreign cultures have in common.

Communication

Members of non-Western societies typically deal with problems privately and avoid expressing strong feelings of vulnerability with their partners. According to Carolee Buckler, project manager at the International Institute for Sustainable Development, dealing with conflict openly is considered demeaning and may result in feelings of embarrassment. It is generally considered impolite to disclose large quantities of personal information until an official commitment is made.

Influence

Although it is custom in Western cultures to develop one's own standards for dating, other cultures typically place more emphasis on parental and societal approval. Men and women in non-Western cultures, especially those located in the Eastern Hemisphere, often exclusively date those of their race or religion. Children are encouraged at a young age to commit to a partner that has earned the respect of the entire family.

Structure

Dating that takes place outside of the United States is often significantly more structured. Men in Latin, European, and African cultures are expected to arrange formal meetings for their dates and adhere to stricter standards. Many societies place considerable importance on establishing relational boundaries, expecting that men and women maintain distance until they have been officially married.

Purpose

Relationships that form in foreign cultures are often less emotional and more practical than American relationships. According to Professor Michelle LeBaron of the Institute for Conflict Analysis & Resolution, men and women in different countries often focus less on feelings and do not form commitments based on what is personally attractive. Instead, they place more importance in their social status, carefully considering their reputation before making any significant decisions.

References

• IISD: Cross-Cultural Communication
• Health Guidance: Cross Cultural Dating and Marriage -- An Asian-Western Perspective
• Beyond Intractability: Cross Cultural Communication

Resources

• Student Stuff: Romance Abroad: Dating in Different Cultures