Proper Dating Rules

Dating requires certain clear guidelines.

Finding a soul mate begins with the first date, and knowing the rules of engagement can make the process less of a challenge at any age. Mind your manners, be interesting and seek to understand prospective romantic partners and you will be pleased with the rewards.

Before Dating, Don't

Taking time away from dating allows space for self discovery, and generates positive feelings.

Getting to know yourself before getting to know someone else is essential to successful dating. Taking a leave of absence from the dating scene entirely for 30 to 90 days, depending upon the length and commitment of your last relationship, allows space for self discovery. During this time, remove worries and troubles of the past from daily thoughts, generating positive feelings and erasing desperation. According to matchmaker Patti Stanger, "A happy woman makes a much better companion, and your stock on the dating market will soar."

First Dates, What Not To Do

Don't discuss past relationships, money matters, or your darkest secrets on a first date.

Discussing past relationships, and the baggage they have left, is not appropriate for a first date. Hearing the sordid details of your romantic history is not appealing to a prospective romantic companion, and it opens the door to misunderstanding and judgment. Also, leave your financial portfolio at home with your diary of dark secrets. Divulging the details of your money matters offers the opportunity for evaluation of your net worth, and could be interpreted as a cry for financial assistance.

Behave Yourself

You only have one chance to make a first impression, behave yourself.

You have only one chance to make a first impression. Veiling your personality with alcohol and foul language could portray the wrong image. Keeping alcohol to a minimum, using your best vocabulary and being courteous all while maintaining a well-mannered appearance speaks to the respect you have for others as well as yourself. Turn off your cell phone, or at minimum, set it to silent if emergency calls are possible, and no texting under the table. Turning your attention to another conversation implies that you are not interested in your present company.

Be Interesting and Interested

Show genuine interest in the conversation, and be a great listener.

Asking questions and showing genuine interest and enthusiasm in hearing the answers sends a clear message that you are engaged in the conversation. Answer questions asked of you clearly and with thought, and hold a positive attitude throughout the conversations during your date. Make table talk exciting with topics related to childhood friends, favorite vacations or what an ideal Saturday might include. Being a great listener is an attractive quality in a prospective romantic relationship, seek first to be one, then to find one.

Sealed With A Kiss

A kiss and a hug to end the date is appropriate if chemistry exists, but nothing more is appropriate until the relationship becomes exclusive. Physical intimacy creates the idea of an assumed relationship when introduced too early on, and smothers the romance of the conciously invited relationship further down the road.

References

• Oprah: The Millionaire Matchmaker's 11 Commandments of Dating for Women
• EHarmony.com: 15 Great First Date Questions
• EHarmony.com: First Dates: Three Things You Should Never Reveal!