10 Ways to Improve Communication With Parents & Children
As a baby you doted on him, but now this sullen preadolescent or elementary-age child seems like a stranger. If your relationship with your child has been shaky at best lately, you need to open the lines of communication and reconnect. By talking, spending time together and interacting in positive ways, you can rebuild the precious connection with your child.
Other People Are Reading
-
Make Time
-
Set aside time to hang out with your child, with no ulterior motive. During this time, you should only discuss happy, positive things, such as his interests, friends or upcoming events. Avoid talking about homework, school issues or problems at home and simply enjoy each other's company.
Observe Yourself
-
Children learn the most about communication from their relationship role models: their parents. Take note of how you interact with your child and honestly assess if you would want him to act in the same way.
-
Listen
-
When your child tells a story, listen carefully and single-mindedly. Try not to space out or think of other things, even if the story is long-winded or boring. Ask questions that show your child you are listening and you care. This will encourage him to share more often because he sees that you really want to know.
Be Specific
-
Your child cannot read your mind, and you should not expect him to. If you want to have better conversations with him, ask him to sit and talk with you for a few minutes every night. Don't just ask how his day was and get upset that all he says is "fine."
Praise
-
When your child approaches you with a problem, involves you in a situation or initiates a positive conversation, praise him effusively for his efforts. When he sees how pleased you are that he was able to positively communicate with you, it will encourage him to try it again.
Tune in to His Feelings
-
Try to understand your child's point of view by picturing yourself in the same situation. Imagine how you would have reacted. Keep in mind that a child's sense of logic is still developing, and his reactions might not be as rational as an adult's.
Be Your Best Self
-
Don't have important talks with your child when you are tired or angry. Wait until you have cooled down or gotten a good night's sleep so you can devote your full attention and you won't say something you don't really mean.
Get Down to His Level
-
Crouch down to your child's eye level, so you are physically in the same place. This will give your child a level of psychological security that will allow him to be more open.
Get Off the Phone
-
Show your child how important he is to you by focusing solely on him when he is around, especially when he wants to talk. Get off the phone or end a conversation by gently saying, "My child is here now, so I'm going to go spend time with him."
Don't Criticize
-
If you constantly criticize your child or openly take the side of the other person when he relates a story, he will not want to share with you. Reserve your criticism for times when it is crucial that he knows, such as a situation where he put himself in danger.
-
References
- Photo Credit teen peek image by robert mobley from Fotolia.com
