Workaholism & Divorce
Although American couples generally divorce for one of four reasons --- abuse, financial problems, infidelity or lack of sexual fulfillment --- there is another marriage destroyer: workaholism. Understanding workaholism and how it affects a marriage is important for both the workaholic and his spouse.
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Communication
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A workaholic is mentally consumed with his job and job-related duties. He might be away from the office physically, but mentally he is still there, thinking of ways to do future duties or contemplating his performance on past ones. For his spouse, this means that he is often mentally distracted and lacks the ability to focus on any conversational topic for any considerable amount of time.
Communication is what allows the husband and wife access into each other's thoughts, feelings and daily experiences. When a couple successfully communicates, they listen and respond respectfully to what the other is saying. They are open and honest in their dialogue --- sharing things with each other that they don't share with anyone else --- and they look forward to speaking with each other.
Time
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A workaholic works from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed. If there is a moment in a day when she is given the opportunity not to work, she will compulsively feel the need to do something work-related. For example, she might browse the Internet for work-related topics or hold cell phone conversations or texts with co-workers regarding work. Over time, this makes the marriage feel lonely and isolated for her spouse.
Married couples understand that there will be daily time commitments, work, children and outside social interactions. However, making time for each other is often as simple as developing a daily routine that is performed together, such as walking a family pet every night, watching a favorite television program together or preparing dinner together.
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Passion
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Passion is a natural emotion that should be continuously expressed within a marriage. Workaholics are passionate about what they do and receive personal fulfillment when they are completing job-related tasks. Yet, when it comes to his marriage, a workaholic's passion can be nonexistent. For his spouse, the passionless marriage raises questions and doubts about her attractiveness and his fidelity.
Regardless of how long a couple has been married, there has to be a timeless level of passion that they have for being together and satisfying each other's needs.
Appreciation
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A workaholic values her job, and she believes it is a privilege to be able to have a career doing what she enjoys. Based on this appreciation, she works hard to maintain her job security. The message that this action sends to her spouse is that she has the ability to prioritize and appreciate what's important but often fails to do so with her marriage.
Appreciation in a marriage confirms the value of the marriage union and celebrates the daily commitment and effort that it takes to make a marriage work. The easiest way for a spouse to express appreciation is by saying "thank you" and "I appreciate you." These simple phrases, when said genuinely, can be enough to ward off thoughts of insignificance that a spouse might struggle with.
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References
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