Etiquette for Wedding Gifts If Marriage Fails

Whether or not gifts should be returned depends on the circumstances of why a wedding did not take place

Etiquette for returning wedding gifts depends on the circumstances in which the couple has split. Whenever a relationship between two people ends, it is always a difficult, stressful and very emotional time for everyone involved. The circumstances of either the split or the separation depend on the situation of the couple as well as when in their relationship the split takes place.

A Broken Engagement

A broken engagement can be a mutual decision, or the choice of only one of the partners. Regardless, a broken engagement takes place before a wedding, and before the wedding day has arrived. Proper etiquette for this situation requires that the former couple send out notifications to all publications and persons that were notified or invited to the wedding. There does not have to be a detailed explanation for why. If possible, the wedding gifts that have already been given should be returned to the sender with the note of explanation. The return of the wedding gifts must take place unless otherwise stated. The return of the wedding gifts should take place no later than one week after the notifications for the cancelled engagement are sent.

Cancelled Wedding

If the wedding is suddenly cancelled, including on the day of the wedding, proper etiquette dictates that the wedding gifts should be returned, ideally with a note of thanks to the sender. This is a difficult time for all parties involved, but the return of the gifts should take place within two weeks of the cancelled wedding. This includes gifts that were sent prior to the wedding date, by those who were unable to attend the ceremony. Unless otherwise stated, all gifts must be returned.

Divorce/Separation

If the marriage fails between the couple after the wedding, or a trial separation is announced, the wedding gifts do not have to be returned, nor should the sender expect that they will be returned. The celebration for the couple already took place, and wedding gifts are not conditional on the success of the marriage. This is the case even if the marriage ends very soon or shortly after the wedding.

Postponed Wedding

A wedding can sometimes be postponed due to personal or public circumstances. In some cases, there may be family concerns that must take precedence, or there are public events that make it difficult or impossible for the wedding to take place on the scheduled date. If there is a delay in the wedding, but the couple still intends to marry and they set a firm future date, the wedding gifts do not need to be returned. However, it is polite to notify the sender that there has been a postponement and an explanation as to why. If the wedding is postponed indefinitely, or there is no new date set, then the gifts should be returned with a note of thanks and an explanation that the wedding has been postponed (not cancelled) and will take place at a later date.

References

• The Knot: Wedding Gifts
• A to Z of Manners and Etiquette: Wedding Gift Etiquette
• Practical Etiquette: Wedding Etiquette